S1E16: Thalia’s Toxic Work Experience in UK Fashion Industry | A Digital Nomad’s Story

Looking for a captivating conversation about the dark side of the fashion industry? Join us as we sit down with Thalia, a blogger and digital nomad, as she shares her experience with Nicola and Gina, two dynamic podcast hosts. In this episode, Thalia opens up about her toxic work experience in the fashion industry in the UK, shedding light on the harsh realities of this cutthroat industry.

She talks about the pressures she faced to fit a certain mold, the toxic work environment she endured, and how it ultimately led to her decision to pursue a different path. Nicola and Gina bring their expertise as podcast hosts to the table, asking thought-provoking questions and guiding the conversation towards a deeper understanding of the issues at hand.

Together, the three explore the impact of the fashion industry on mental health, the importance of creating a healthy work culture, and the power of self-care in the face of adversity. Whether you’re a fashion industry insider or simply interested in hearing about the experiences of others, this episode is sure to leave you with plenty to think about. Tune in now to hear Thalia’s story and join the conversation.

Find Thalia here!

Blog = notesbythalia.com

Instagram = @notesbythalia

Pinterest = @notesbythalia

TikTok = @notesbythalia

Oh yeah.Speaker 2: 53:32

All these different shirts. No, that was the other Brian. That was T-shirt Brian Oh.Speaker 1: 53:37

T-shirt Brian. Oh my God, yeah, brian with the insurgents was very funny.Speaker 2: 53:41

Yeah, um, we had the lady with four million jobs. Do you remember that one Mm? hmm, i know Where she had like what was it Like? 47.Speaker 1: 53:54

Like her first. Like her first line out of the box was like I’ve had 46 jobs in the past 30 years and we’re like what.Speaker 2: 54:05

We’ve got Amy, who talks to us about toxic positivity, which is pretty cool, and then we had Stu, who was our most recent recording, yeah, talking about leadership, which I’m pretty bloody excited about.Speaker 1: 54:20

And now so we’ll be doing some more interviews, but also sprinkling in some of the research episodes.Speaker 2: 54:25

Yeah, and then we’ll be doing some research episodes is going to like is our next kind of step right? That’s our evolution.Speaker 1: 54:33

And we’ll see what happens. We’ll see what you guys like more And if you have any comments, thoughts, reactions, just reach out to us.Speaker 2: 54:39

Yeah, We really appreciate everybody’s comments. Yeah, We’ve had. I just, I just get so excited when someone comments, So if you could comment like like subscribe, share follow all those good things. Come join us on LinkedIn. Come join us on.Speaker 3: 54:55

Instagram, yeah, yeah Find us a good place.Speaker 4: 54:57

We’d be happy to have you.Speaker 2: 54:59

And we’ll see you in season two. Couple weeks, yeah, yeah, a couple weeks. Thank you for joining us today. If you would like to share your story, we would love to hear from you.Speaker 1: 55:10

Also, leaving a review helps us create more content because it shows us there’s an interest in this topic.Speaker 2: 55:16

For those of our listeners who do better with reading, we have closed caption available on YouTube.Speaker 1: 55:20

See you next week, same time and same place.

Watch this Episode

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this podcast may contain adult themes

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this podcast is for entertainment

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purposes only the views and opinions in

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this podcast are expressly our own when

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I get into the workplace I like to [ __ ]

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[ __ ] up

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honestly every time I try to do

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something fun or exciting you make it

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not that way hey are you tired of toxic

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workplaces and Nativity that comes with

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them we hear you and we’re here to shake

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things up welcome to let’s break up

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toxic workplace Stories the podcast

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that’s all about breaking up with the

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workplace toxicity I’m Nicola and I’m

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here with my co-host Gina together we’re

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going to explore real life experiences

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of workplace toxicity and offer a sense

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of encouragement and unity that’s right

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we’re tackling the tough topic of

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negativity in the workplace so join us

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each week as we explore the various

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forms of toxicity in the workplace we’ll

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be interviewing guests to share their

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experiences and offer practical

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solutions for dealing with workplace

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toxicity let’s break up is quickly

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becoming the go-to source for anyone

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looking to share and then ditch the

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drama and help you break up with those

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toxic workplaces thanks for tuning in

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and don’t forget to like subscribe and

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tell all your friends in this week’s

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episode

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so in today’s episode we have got a

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almost like a I want to say a part tour

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so we had cards eBay who was our kind of

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Devil Wears Prada New York and that was

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more like Sex in the City yeah Sex in

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the City oh that’s actually a really

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good point sixth in the city and now

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we’ve got Devil Wears Prada the UK

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um and I’m really curious to hear how

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you know the fashion industry in UK was

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equally as toxic as it was apparently in

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America too

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well cardzie and I agreed it’s probably

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the most toxic industry to be in in a

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big city you know because it’s very you

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know demand

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supply and demand and just everything

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being based on appearances it’s it’s

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very Cutthroat like you have to fit the

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look of the brand even if you’re just

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like a designer

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um she talked about holding her seat

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which

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yeah because it’s like even though they

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were being treated like [ __ ] like oh an

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unspoken dress code or whatever

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people would put up with it because that

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was like what you were supposed to do

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um it’ll be interesting to see how

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Thalia like what her journey was like

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because she wasn’t a designer she was

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more like an assistant or something

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we’ll learn more about the specific but

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I but hers was more in the modeling end

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of thing she was at a modeling agency so

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it’ll be interesting to hear

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how it’s different but also the same as

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being on the other end of the fashion

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industry and being a designer or garment

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maker so hello

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hi hello hi

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how are you

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I’m good thank you how are you good

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thing I’m so glad we’re not the only

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adults that wave like we’re on a ship I

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wave all the time I love waving that’s

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why uh

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Queen wave is it your British queen wave

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no it is just like a I’m a kid in a

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candy store like yeah yeah yeah yeah

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okay let’s let’s talk about you tell us

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about you Valiant tell us

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give us a little background as to what

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you’re doing right before you got into

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this toxic workplace and then give us a

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little overview of what the toxic

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workplace was like what industry you can

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get as detailed or general as you feel

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you like okay sure so actually so before

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I went to the my toxic workplace I was

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actually a university

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um so it was quite like a few years ago

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now

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um so growing up I never really had much

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ambition never really had any goals

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um didn’t really know what to do with my

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life as I suppose any 18 year old

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wouldn’t know what to do

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um and fashion really interested me so I

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kind of went to study fashion at

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University I was there three years and

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after University I kind of had to get a

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job

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um as you do and so going to the

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modeling agency was my first job

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but actually you know before that I did

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have another internship that I was at

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for three months unpaid and it was with

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a fashion designer and she was extremely

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toxic as well

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um I’ve done a few interns with

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internships back way back in Manhattan

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with designers and it was like so like

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belittling they’re like staple these

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swatches to a piece of paper and I’m

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like okay like use me for something

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better than this yeah I was like stupid

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yeah

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she got a group of us interns there

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under this false pretense that would

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learn more about fashion and more about

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fashion designer kind of assist her with

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like making up the clothes and it did

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sound really fun but it ended up being

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kind of like manual labor in a way where

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she wasn’t paying us but we turned up

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just to paint her new studio

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um and we’re painting her furniture and

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stuff and she basically had us there

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like until seven o’clock at night and if

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we sat around having a lunch break she’d

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come in and just yell at us be like why

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am I interns not doing anything is she

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still a designer to this day she is

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actually still a designer she’s like an

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ethical designer as well and I was like

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why can’t you just hire

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um a design team to come in and do this

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rather than a bunch of

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I wouldn’t say she was famous famous

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she’s more like a UK based a British

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based designer they think she’s

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um you know she still dresses

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celebrities with a red carpet as I’ve

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seen

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um so that was kind of actually my first

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um introduction into the fashion

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industry and I I guess I should have

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known then

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um the first red flat out yeah so I kind

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of left after a couple of weeks as I was

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like this is not not for me like I’m not

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gonna get yelled at

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um you know for free yeah for free yeah

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so then I looked for some other jobs and

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I got an internship at a modeling agency

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in London like a week afterwards and I

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went in for the interview and then that

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evening they kind of called me and said

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can you start tomorrow

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um and I kind of remember it my mum was

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away on holiday and she was away for a

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week and I was like oh I had this week

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just to kind of have the house to myself

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just do nothing just laying around the

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house

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um and then they called me and they’re

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like can you start tomorrow I was like

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okay yeah sure

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um and at the time I was basically

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living an hour and a half door to door

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from their office so I had to wake up

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fresh face 6am go into work

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um for the first day and then it kind of

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just went on from there really

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okay so what was your first red flag at

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the modeling agency

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I’d have to say there was probably a lot

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of red flags

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um that I didn’t I mean I should have

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known then but I think at the time it

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was kind of like normal for um the

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fashion industry to kind of work for

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free work from the bottom kind of be

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everyone’s

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um kind of um yeah be everyone’s little

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[ __ ]

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um so I did have to do the lunch run and

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there was about four or four main

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Bookers on the table and it was just

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like an easy go to one place and get

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everyone’s lunch it was literally like I

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want to go here I want this I want to go

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here you need to go here for me can you

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get this for me so I literally had to

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like dot my way around the area so it

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would take me over an hour to get lunch

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and after 20 minutes my boss would call

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being like where are you I’m starving

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where’s my food I’m gonna eat the dog

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and I was like I’m doing the best I get

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as a joke obviously when actually but

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um I was interested in trying to do the

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best I could to like running around and

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then I’d get back and they’d be like my

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food’s cold and you got me the wrong

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order and it was just like time to start

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from there just like the stress

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um so I mean yeah red flag there I guess

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but that you know I guess it was a

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normal thing just kind of doing all the

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lunch wrongs doing the tea runs

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um kind of running around it was only I

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think after I’d been there for three

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months for the internship for three

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months I stayed on in a paid position

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um as a junior Booker and I think it’s

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when you’re there for like a few months

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and you kind of see the cracks between

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the other Bookers and

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um there was more and more arguments

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were started like between my boss and

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the other book is I’d like I’d get asked

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to leave kind of just to go out so he

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could have an argument with them

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um so they’d be arguing about like so

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what do you possibly argue about your

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booking like beautiful people to like do

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model shoots like what is it that you’re

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possibly arguing about

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00:09:16,620 –> 00:09:20,880
I mean I wish I knew back then

236
00:09:18,839 –> 00:09:23,100
um I it’s one of those things where I

237
00:09:20,880 –> 00:09:25,140
think yeah I kept out like so out of the

238
00:09:23,100 –> 00:09:27,360
loop kind of thing um and you don’t

239
00:09:25,140 –> 00:09:30,060
really know what’s happening behind the

240
00:09:27,360 –> 00:09:32,760
scenes until you’re there you’re behind

241
00:09:30,060 –> 00:09:34,560
the scenes yeah like I’m behind the

242
00:09:32,760 –> 00:09:36,240
scenes bar behind the scenes

243
00:09:34,560 –> 00:09:37,920
um yeah and then after I’ve been there

244
00:09:36,240 –> 00:09:40,380
for a while and people start leaving

245
00:09:37,920 –> 00:09:41,279
like you kind of see where the cracks

246
00:09:40,380 –> 00:09:42,779
are

247
00:09:41,279 –> 00:09:45,420
um but at that time I kind of just

248
00:09:42,779 –> 00:09:48,480
wanted to I just needed a job I wanted

249
00:09:45,420 –> 00:09:51,959
to work um when I first arrived

250
00:09:48,480 –> 00:09:53,399
um I probably spent two years

251
00:09:51,959 –> 00:09:54,360
um the first two years crying in the

252
00:09:53,399 –> 00:09:56,100
bathroom because I was just getting

253
00:09:54,360 –> 00:09:58,620
yelled at as well

254
00:09:56,100 –> 00:10:00,300
um what were you doing that was so wrong

255
00:09:58,620 –> 00:10:03,420
like you’re just booking you’re looking

256
00:10:00,300 –> 00:10:05,160
at breathing she was breathing I was

257
00:10:03,420 –> 00:10:07,260
breathing you know it’s just like when

258
00:10:05,160 –> 00:10:08,820
you work in such a fast-paced and

259
00:10:07,260 –> 00:10:12,240
stressful environment like anything

260
00:10:08,820 –> 00:10:15,120
little thing will set someone off

261
00:10:12,240 –> 00:10:18,060
um so I would do like something and I

262
00:10:15,120 –> 00:10:20,279
was young I was you know I was 21 22 I

263
00:10:18,060 –> 00:10:22,200
was still learning I don’t really think

264
00:10:20,279 –> 00:10:23,820
that I had someone there was no process

265
00:10:22,200 –> 00:10:26,040
in place basically I kind of had to go

266
00:10:23,820 –> 00:10:27,540
in and learn the ropes myself

267
00:10:26,040 –> 00:10:29,459
um so if I did do something wrong I

268
00:10:27,540 –> 00:10:31,560
would get yelled at or if something was

269
00:10:29,459 –> 00:10:33,120
if something was a model for all of

270
00:10:31,560 –> 00:10:35,580
course you’d still get yelled at because

271
00:10:33,120 –> 00:10:37,320
you’re in charge of that model

272
00:10:35,580 –> 00:10:39,000
um so yeah they found something to yell

273
00:10:37,320 –> 00:10:40,260
at me about um so yeah probably the

274
00:10:39,000 –> 00:10:43,980
first two years I was crying in the

275
00:10:40,260 –> 00:10:45,420
bathroom and I was like oh my God it’s

276
00:10:43,980 –> 00:10:47,579
yourself yeah because you kind of

277
00:10:45,420 –> 00:10:48,959
convinced yourself this as normal

278
00:10:47,579 –> 00:10:50,760
um the other Bookers who are there were

279
00:10:48,959 –> 00:10:53,279
like oh this happened to me as well like

280
00:10:50,760 –> 00:10:54,540
you’ll get through it you’ll get past it

281
00:10:53,279 –> 00:10:55,560
um it always happens when you’re new but

282
00:10:54,540 –> 00:10:57,899
you’re just getting used to it don’t

283
00:10:55,560 –> 00:11:00,120
take it personally uh which is probably

284
00:10:57,899 –> 00:11:03,300
like my favorite quote of all time don’t

285
00:11:00,120 –> 00:11:05,459
take it personally right that’s Gina’s

286
00:11:03,300 –> 00:11:06,899
favorite quote and I feel like in this

287
00:11:05,459 –> 00:11:10,260
instance

288
00:11:06,899 –> 00:11:12,720
no I believe that still even in your

289
00:11:10,260 –> 00:11:15,360
instance it is true because they’re

290
00:11:12,720 –> 00:11:16,980
they’re reacting to something that they

291
00:11:15,360 –> 00:11:19,800
probably [ __ ] up and they’re just

292
00:11:16,980 –> 00:11:22,560
taking it out on you so it really isn’t

293
00:11:19,800 –> 00:11:25,200
personal like they might be like aiming

294
00:11:22,560 –> 00:11:28,140
it at you but it’s probably not really

295
00:11:25,200 –> 00:11:29,940
about you and maybe in that situation

296
00:11:28,140 –> 00:11:32,160
you kind of when you get yelled out so

297
00:11:29,940 –> 00:11:34,920
often you’re kind of like oh maybe no

298
00:11:32,160 –> 00:11:38,940
it’s a very it’s a very heady concept to

299
00:11:34,920 –> 00:11:41,160
like get to understand fully but once

300
00:11:38,940 –> 00:11:44,519
you really do it’s like

301
00:11:41,160 –> 00:11:47,579
and at 21 I wouldn’t expect anyone to

302
00:11:44,519 –> 00:11:49,320
understand that I only at 43 like I

303
00:11:47,579 –> 00:11:51,800
probably just started figuring it out at

304
00:11:49,320 –> 00:11:54,240
like 40 what that really meant yeah so

305
00:11:51,800 –> 00:11:55,079
you wouldn’t have known like you

306
00:11:54,240 –> 00:11:57,000
probably would have been like how could

307
00:11:55,079 –> 00:12:00,300
it not pot not possibly be personal

308
00:11:57,000 –> 00:12:02,399
they’re yelling at me yeah yeah okay

309
00:12:00,300 –> 00:12:03,839
yeah yeah yeah I think that was the

310
00:12:02,399 –> 00:12:06,240
thing because I was so young I kind of

311
00:12:03,839 –> 00:12:07,680
did like it was my first job as my first

312
00:12:06,240 –> 00:12:09,480
proper job that I was getting paid for

313
00:12:07,680 –> 00:12:11,459
as well so it’s kind of like I also

314
00:12:09,480 –> 00:12:12,779
wanted to impress them because I didn’t

315
00:12:11,459 –> 00:12:15,000
want to get fired I didn’t want to get

316
00:12:12,779 –> 00:12:16,620
let go and there was other people other

317
00:12:15,000 –> 00:12:18,720
interns would come in and then they

318
00:12:16,620 –> 00:12:20,160
wouldn’t be asked to stay on and it was

319
00:12:18,720 –> 00:12:21,959
kind of like I felt like I was in a

320
00:12:20,160 –> 00:12:23,339
position like oh I’m obviously doing a

321
00:12:21,959 –> 00:12:26,399
good job they liked me because they

322
00:12:23,339 –> 00:12:27,899
asked me to stay on so I don’t want to f

323
00:12:26,399 –> 00:12:29,459
up in a way and I don’t want to lose

324
00:12:27,899 –> 00:12:31,800
this position because I’m doing a good

325
00:12:29,459 –> 00:12:34,260
job and so I think it’s also more of

326
00:12:31,800 –> 00:12:36,240
like a self-worth thing

327
00:12:34,260 –> 00:12:39,480
um definitely back then anyway I’ve got

328
00:12:36,240 –> 00:12:42,180
I’ve sort out all my issues since then

329
00:12:39,480 –> 00:12:44,279
um but I think that was it for me so so

330
00:12:42,180 –> 00:12:46,019
you know like back in the day I was

331
00:12:44,279 –> 00:12:48,060
always a huge people pleaser I wanted to

332
00:12:46,019 –> 00:12:50,820
please people and if I didn’t please

333
00:12:48,060 –> 00:12:52,440
please people I did take it out on

334
00:12:50,820 –> 00:12:54,000
myself being like well this is me I

335
00:12:52,440 –> 00:12:55,800
[ __ ] up this is what I’ve done wrong

336
00:12:54,000 –> 00:12:57,240
and so that’s definitely the way I

337
00:12:55,800 –> 00:12:59,459
looked at it that it was kind of

338
00:12:57,240 –> 00:13:01,079
punishment for me

339
00:12:59,459 –> 00:13:04,079
um so

340
00:13:01,079 –> 00:13:05,760
yeah so I was I was there as an intern

341
00:13:04,079 –> 00:13:08,040
for three months and then I stayed on

342
00:13:05,760 –> 00:13:11,459
and I ended up being there in total for

343
00:13:08,040 –> 00:13:14,040
six years and slowly I worked my way up

344
00:13:11,459 –> 00:13:15,779
from like assistant to the book or I

345
00:13:14,040 –> 00:13:18,360
guess I was to a junior Booker Booker

346
00:13:15,779 –> 00:13:21,240
and then a senior Booker and I kind of

347
00:13:18,360 –> 00:13:23,220
managed to which you could not upgrade

348
00:13:21,240 –> 00:13:25,579
your job get a promotion but it wasn’t

349
00:13:23,220 –> 00:13:30,480
right let’s get a promotion

350
00:13:25,579 –> 00:13:32,519
I I leveled up I leveled up with my job

351
00:13:30,480 –> 00:13:34,800
and it wasn’t really a promotion though

352
00:13:32,519 –> 00:13:37,019
because people above me would leave walk

353
00:13:34,800 –> 00:13:40,260
out in really dramatic ways and just

354
00:13:37,019 –> 00:13:42,779
never come back can you can you tell us

355
00:13:40,260 –> 00:13:45,320
one story that was super dramatic of

356
00:13:42,779 –> 00:13:45,320
someone leaving

357
00:13:45,600 –> 00:13:48,420
um I guess there was just like there

358
00:13:46,860 –> 00:13:50,100
would just be like blowouts all the time

359
00:13:48,420 –> 00:13:51,779
between my boss and the other Bookers

360
00:13:50,100 –> 00:13:53,480
and they would just

361
00:13:51,779 –> 00:13:56,160
have screaming messages

362
00:13:53,480 –> 00:13:58,139
and quit on the spot so I would say

363
00:13:56,160 –> 00:13:59,820
actually red flag I’ve probably like

364
00:13:58,139 –> 00:14:01,920
listed so many red flags but red flag

365
00:13:59,820 –> 00:14:03,899
number two was when I first started

366
00:14:01,920 –> 00:14:05,100
working there there was no contracts in

367
00:14:03,899 –> 00:14:06,899
place

368
00:14:05,100 –> 00:14:09,120
um and the other book is didn’t have any

369
00:14:06,899 –> 00:14:12,420
contracts either

370
00:14:09,120 –> 00:14:13,860
um so obviously there was no uh you know

371
00:14:12,420 –> 00:14:16,380
there was no rule in place of how much

372
00:14:13,860 –> 00:14:18,060
notice you needed to give so a lot of

373
00:14:16,380 –> 00:14:19,320
people did just like storm out and

374
00:14:18,060 –> 00:14:21,240
everything

375
00:14:19,320 –> 00:14:23,399
um because they could and there would be

376
00:14:21,240 –> 00:14:24,540
a Booker down and be panicking like what

377
00:14:23,399 –> 00:14:28,139
are we gonna do now

378
00:14:24,540 –> 00:14:30,180
uh so yeah that happened quite a few

379
00:14:28,139 –> 00:14:32,760
times and then I just uh worked my way

380
00:14:30,180 –> 00:14:34,800
up and

381
00:14:32,760 –> 00:14:37,320
yeah

382
00:14:34,800 –> 00:14:38,880
so when you were at like the top of your

383
00:14:37,320 –> 00:14:41,940
game there

384
00:14:38,880 –> 00:14:44,160
were you making good money

385
00:14:41,940 –> 00:14:46,980
so I was

386
00:14:44,160 –> 00:14:48,899
so again that was another thing

387
00:14:46,980 –> 00:14:51,779
um I was making good money I think for

388
00:14:48,899 –> 00:14:53,459
my age probably not to live in London I

389
00:14:51,779 –> 00:14:55,019
mean as soon as I got my paycheck I was

390
00:14:53,459 –> 00:14:57,480
like oh this is great and then I’ll just

391
00:14:55,019 –> 00:14:59,040
you know I had no Financial boundaries

392
00:14:57,480 –> 00:15:01,800
back in the day so I would literally

393
00:14:59,040 –> 00:15:03,600
just go and spend it but it was enough

394
00:15:01,800 –> 00:15:06,839
for me to move out of my mum’s house

395
00:15:03,600 –> 00:15:09,540
after about a year and a half and move

396
00:15:06,839 –> 00:15:12,240
into Central London not like Central

397
00:15:09,540 –> 00:15:14,519
Central like web booking palaces they’re

398
00:15:12,240 –> 00:15:17,579
all families that um some moved into

399
00:15:14,519 –> 00:15:19,019
Buckingham Palace you I wish I knew

400
00:15:17,579 –> 00:15:20,279
Meghan Markle

401
00:15:19,019 –> 00:15:22,139
yes

402
00:15:20,279 –> 00:15:25,440
this is what Meghan Markle actually

403
00:15:22,139 –> 00:15:26,579
looks like when she takes him Moscow

404
00:15:25,440 –> 00:15:28,320
yeah

405
00:15:26,579 –> 00:15:29,880
I didn’t know that was Prince Harry like

406
00:15:28,320 –> 00:15:32,120
we just you know I had no idea it was

407
00:15:29,880 –> 00:15:32,120
him

408
00:15:32,959 –> 00:15:37,440
squat at Buckingham Palace because

409
00:15:35,760 –> 00:15:41,600
that’s essentially what you’d be doing

410
00:15:37,440 –> 00:15:43,320
oh my gosh okay anyway so

411
00:15:41,600 –> 00:15:45,540
so

412
00:15:43,320 –> 00:15:47,639
um you’re in so now you’re not an hour

413
00:15:45,540 –> 00:15:49,740
and a half away anymore that’s the point

414
00:15:47,639 –> 00:15:53,100
of that okay yeah the support of that

415
00:15:49,740 –> 00:15:56,459
story yeah more like I mean London

416
00:15:53,100 –> 00:15:58,320
Underground uh probably 45 minutes

417
00:15:56,459 –> 00:16:00,959
um because that was the other thing it’s

418
00:15:58,320 –> 00:16:03,959
not a great Improvement it actually is

419
00:16:00,959 –> 00:16:05,880
it’s half your original it went from an

420
00:16:03,959 –> 00:16:08,459
hour and a half to 45 she cut it in half

421
00:16:05,880 –> 00:16:10,260
it’s a good Improvement and for London

422
00:16:08,459 –> 00:16:12,600
it’s good because I was basically in a

423
00:16:10,260 –> 00:16:14,279
quite quite South

424
00:16:12,600 –> 00:16:16,380
um in Clapham Junction if you’ve heard

425
00:16:14,279 –> 00:16:19,800
of it maybe not

426
00:16:16,380 –> 00:16:22,680
um and then the mulling agency was kind

427
00:16:19,800 –> 00:16:24,199
of North near King’s cross

428
00:16:22,680 –> 00:16:26,760
um so yeah it was actually

429
00:16:24,199 –> 00:16:29,820
it’s one of the train stations on My

430
00:16:26,760 –> 00:16:31,260
Monopoly board there you go

431
00:16:29,820 –> 00:16:33,480
um so it was actually a big Improvement

432
00:16:31,260 –> 00:16:36,079
but the faster the Pet Shop Boys have a

433
00:16:33,480 –> 00:16:40,079
song about King’s cross

434
00:16:36,079 –> 00:16:42,000
I’m dating myself before my time

435
00:16:40,079 –> 00:16:44,160
you should pick up you should pick up

436
00:16:42,000 –> 00:16:46,680
the cassette tape of the Pet Shop Boys

437
00:16:44,160 –> 00:16:50,480
they’re amazing you use your hand to

438
00:16:46,680 –> 00:16:50,480
wind the cassette tape up yes

439
00:16:51,380 –> 00:16:57,120
they’re amazing they’re like you know

440
00:16:54,180 –> 00:16:59,519
like I feel like London has so much good

441
00:16:57,120 –> 00:17:00,779
music that came out of there like back

442
00:16:59,519 –> 00:17:02,639
in the day I don’t know what’s going on

443
00:17:00,779 –> 00:17:06,319
right now you know what they’ve got

444
00:17:02,639 –> 00:17:06,319
Harry Styles that’s not [ __ ]

445
00:17:07,100 –> 00:17:12,780
okay so I went to London once I was

446
00:17:09,959 –> 00:17:16,939
probably all of seven and went to

447
00:17:12,780 –> 00:17:16,939
Harrods and my mind was just like

448
00:17:17,040 –> 00:17:20,600
that’s all it was also the first time I

449
00:17:18,959 –> 00:17:22,860
had McDonald’s

450
00:17:20,600 –> 00:17:26,480
in South Africa yet

451
00:17:22,860 –> 00:17:31,380
okay harroduce yeah

452
00:17:26,480 –> 00:17:34,380
as well it’s amazing for toys okay so we

453
00:17:31,380 –> 00:17:37,020
are now you’re now living in London

454
00:17:34,380 –> 00:17:40,320
instead of outside you’re a commuters

455
00:17:37,020 –> 00:17:42,360
for you cut it in half 45 minutes and

456
00:17:40,320 –> 00:17:43,740
every day you go to like what do you

457
00:17:42,360 –> 00:17:45,539
feel like when you’re getting into the

458
00:17:43,740 –> 00:17:48,539
office are you like a [ __ ] another day

459
00:17:45,539 –> 00:17:49,980
of this okay yeah so actually before I I

460
00:17:48,539 –> 00:17:52,080
talk about that I was there was another

461
00:17:49,980 –> 00:17:53,580
red flag as well when I first started

462
00:17:52,080 –> 00:17:55,020
working there so it was one of those

463
00:17:53,580 –> 00:17:57,360
things where it was like you were

464
00:17:55,020 –> 00:17:59,820
expected you were at work at half nine

465
00:17:57,360 –> 00:18:01,380
and the ending hour was six o’clock but

466
00:17:59,820 –> 00:18:03,120
obviously no one actually left at six

467
00:18:01,380 –> 00:18:04,860
o’clock right even though you’re just

468
00:18:03,120 –> 00:18:07,080
twiddling your thumbs you couldn’t get

469
00:18:04,860 –> 00:18:09,059
up until you couldn’t basically leave

470
00:18:07,080 –> 00:18:13,320
until our boss got up off the table and

471
00:18:09,059 –> 00:18:15,419
then left so I hate that everyone yeah

472
00:18:13,320 –> 00:18:17,280
exactly so it’s kind of like it’s six

473
00:18:15,419 –> 00:18:19,200
o’clock everyone’s itching to go you’ve

474
00:18:17,280 –> 00:18:20,460
got plans but no one’s gonna get up and

475
00:18:19,200 –> 00:18:22,559
go and you don’t want to be the first

476
00:18:20,460 –> 00:18:24,120
one to go but obviously when I first

477
00:18:22,559 –> 00:18:26,400
started I was like I have to go because

478
00:18:24,120 –> 00:18:28,380
I’ve got the trains to catch match and

479
00:18:26,400 –> 00:18:30,660
if you yeah if there’s if you know

480
00:18:28,380 –> 00:18:33,720
anything about trains in the UK they’re

481
00:18:30,660 –> 00:18:35,220
always always delayed and like the the

482
00:18:33,720 –> 00:18:36,480
later you leave work the later you’re

483
00:18:35,220 –> 00:18:38,640
going to get home it was literally an

484
00:18:36,480 –> 00:18:40,559
hour and a half back home I would eat

485
00:18:38,640 –> 00:18:42,900
dinner sleep and then have to wake up

486
00:18:40,559 –> 00:18:44,940
and go back into work it’s just like a

487
00:18:42,900 –> 00:18:47,039
washing machine yeah it was literally

488
00:18:44,940 –> 00:18:48,840
like just constant so it’s like I needed

489
00:18:47,039 –> 00:18:51,539
to leave at six and every time I kind of

490
00:18:48,840 –> 00:18:54,000
got up like the scrape of the chair and

491
00:18:51,539 –> 00:18:57,120
everyone would just look over I was like

492
00:18:54,000 –> 00:18:59,660
um I I got to go and then it’s just like

493
00:18:57,120 –> 00:19:02,400
that look of disapproval just like okay

494
00:18:59,660 –> 00:19:04,500
kind of thing it’s just like oh my God I

495
00:19:02,400 –> 00:19:07,980
just feel horrendous for even like but

496
00:19:04,500 –> 00:19:09,960
even even though you are okay yeah at

497
00:19:07,980 –> 00:19:11,460
the beginning exactly yeah and I’m like

498
00:19:09,960 –> 00:19:13,080
well I’m on paid at the minute so it’s

499
00:19:11,460 –> 00:19:16,140
like I can’t be expected to say

500
00:19:13,080 –> 00:19:17,760
Obviously when it did get paid it was a

501
00:19:16,140 –> 00:19:18,960
different story but I still had to kind

502
00:19:17,760 –> 00:19:20,580
of leave

503
00:19:18,960 –> 00:19:22,500
um so it actually did get better when I

504
00:19:20,580 –> 00:19:26,600
did move to London because it meant that

505
00:19:22,500 –> 00:19:26,600
I could stay that like that

506
00:19:28,700 –> 00:19:33,720
this boundary is like being pushed right

507
00:19:31,440 –> 00:19:36,000
like looking back it’s like it was

508
00:19:33,720 –> 00:19:37,620
better because I’m sorry what boundary I

509
00:19:36,000 –> 00:19:40,320
I’m not seeing yeah there were zero

510
00:19:37,620 –> 00:19:42,299
boundaries yeah zero boundaries yeah all

511
00:19:40,320 –> 00:19:44,039
I’m seeing is just like a field where we

512
00:19:42,299 –> 00:19:46,020
could hop from one side of the field to

513
00:19:44,039 –> 00:19:47,460
the other side of the field there’s no

514
00:19:46,020 –> 00:19:51,660
fear and just do whatever the hell you

515
00:19:47,460 –> 00:19:53,760
want in between yeah yeah I think

516
00:19:51,660 –> 00:19:55,679
yeah like I said all the people pleaser

517
00:19:53,760 –> 00:19:57,480
so it’s kind of like well if I move then

518
00:19:55,679 –> 00:20:00,059
I can show that I am serious about this

519
00:19:57,480 –> 00:20:01,860
job I’m gonna stay later

520
00:20:00,059 –> 00:20:04,200
um so yeah but then the boundaries did

521
00:20:01,860 –> 00:20:07,380
then get pushed even more because when

522
00:20:04,200 –> 00:20:09,419
my boss knew that I did live closer in

523
00:20:07,380 –> 00:20:11,520
London he would then call me up at all

524
00:20:09,419 –> 00:20:15,600
hours of the night be like Oh I’m on my

525
00:20:11,520 –> 00:20:18,000
way back to Heathrow call me a taxi or

526
00:20:15,600 –> 00:20:19,980
um sometimes he would leave his keys in

527
00:20:18,000 –> 00:20:22,200
the office

528
00:20:19,980 –> 00:20:24,059
um so he would call it like I’d need to

529
00:20:22,200 –> 00:20:26,580
get a taxi to come and pick my keys up

530
00:20:24,059 –> 00:20:29,400
to go and take them to him so it was a

531
00:20:26,580 –> 00:20:32,700
taxi ever reimbursed or was

532
00:20:29,400 –> 00:20:35,039
yeah I mean after a while

533
00:20:32,700 –> 00:20:37,080
um so it was we I think in the end I put

534
00:20:35,039 –> 00:20:39,120
the company card on

535
00:20:37,080 –> 00:20:40,380
um the taxi company I used so then it

536
00:20:39,120 –> 00:20:42,720
wasn’t coming out of my bank account

537
00:20:40,380 –> 00:20:45,179
right but so there was a lot of that as

538
00:20:42,720 –> 00:20:47,760
well kind of like zero boundaries again

539
00:20:45,179 –> 00:20:50,580
and the other thing with models as well

540
00:20:47,760 –> 00:20:53,760
is the 24-hour job you always have to be

541
00:20:50,580 –> 00:20:55,679
on call just in case like someone’s

542
00:20:53,760 –> 00:20:57,299
wanted for a last minute shoe or a model

543
00:20:55,679 –> 00:20:58,799
doesn’t turn up for a shoot it’s

544
00:20:57,299 –> 00:21:01,140
literally like constant it’s the amount

545
00:20:58,799 –> 00:21:04,080
of times that my weekends were taken up

546
00:21:01,140 –> 00:21:05,640
because I would organize uh photo shoots

547
00:21:04,080 –> 00:21:08,700
for the models of the weekend for them

548
00:21:05,640 –> 00:21:09,960
to get pictures their portfolio and like

549
00:21:08,700 –> 00:21:11,760
the models sometimes would just never

550
00:21:09,960 –> 00:21:13,740
turn up for the shoot so I’d have the

551
00:21:11,760 –> 00:21:15,299
photographer on the phone like yelling

552
00:21:13,740 –> 00:21:17,280
at me being like where’s your damn model

553
00:21:15,299 –> 00:21:18,419
I’d have my boss on the phone yelling at

554
00:21:17,280 –> 00:21:20,820
me because they would be calling the

555
00:21:18,419 –> 00:21:22,620
agency being like what why why is this

556
00:21:20,820 –> 00:21:23,700
all [ __ ] up and then I’d be trying to

557
00:21:22,620 –> 00:21:25,740
get the model on the phone because

558
00:21:23,700 –> 00:21:27,780
they’ve gone out the night before and

559
00:21:25,740 –> 00:21:29,340
got really drunk and not picking up like

560
00:21:27,780 –> 00:21:31,500
hungover in bed and they’re not looking

561
00:21:29,340 –> 00:21:34,020
up so I’d literally like take out days

562
00:21:31,500 –> 00:21:35,520
of my whole entire weekend

563
00:21:34,020 –> 00:21:37,200
um trying to get hold of a new model

564
00:21:35,520 –> 00:21:40,080
trying to be like are you available to

565
00:21:37,200 –> 00:21:42,059
go now is the photographer likes them so

566
00:21:40,080 –> 00:21:44,220
it was stuff like that and I still to

567
00:21:42,059 –> 00:21:46,140
this day kind of like I can’t keep my

568
00:21:44,220 –> 00:21:48,059
phone on loud anymore it’s always on

569
00:21:46,140 –> 00:21:50,580
silent I can’t even have the vibrate on

570
00:21:48,059 –> 00:21:52,380
because if the the phone rings or if it

571
00:21:50,580 –> 00:21:54,419
vibrates I kind of go back to that

572
00:21:52,380 –> 00:21:56,220
triggering state where I’m actually like

573
00:21:54,419 –> 00:21:58,620
oh my God it’s my boss or someone’s

574
00:21:56,220 –> 00:22:00,240
calling me to figure this out

575
00:21:58,620 –> 00:22:01,320
um and stuff like that so it’s kind of

576
00:22:00,240 –> 00:22:04,159
like I feel like it’s constantly

577
00:22:01,320 –> 00:22:04,159
traumatized me

578
00:22:04,640 –> 00:22:10,500
because it’s like all hell breaking

579
00:22:07,020 –> 00:22:12,360
loose like every every other day

580
00:22:10,500 –> 00:22:15,179
literally yeah like there was always

581
00:22:12,360 –> 00:22:17,340
just something going on and obviously

582
00:22:15,179 –> 00:22:19,679
during then the fashion weeks as well

583
00:22:17,340 –> 00:22:22,559
um you’d be required to stay in the

584
00:22:19,679 –> 00:22:24,780
office until like three four a.m go home

585
00:22:22,559 –> 00:22:26,700
and then go back in again at half nine

586
00:22:24,780 –> 00:22:28,799
in the morning and stay there again

587
00:22:26,700 –> 00:22:30,299
until three four a.m because I don’t

588
00:22:28,799 –> 00:22:32,820
know why but fashion designers or

589
00:22:30,299 –> 00:22:34,440
casting directors take so long to choose

590
00:22:32,820 –> 00:22:36,900
who they want to be in the show so

591
00:22:34,440 –> 00:22:38,460
you’re basically just waiting for them

592
00:22:36,900 –> 00:22:40,559
um to decide

593
00:22:38,460 –> 00:22:43,320
um so yeah it was kind of

594
00:22:40,559 –> 00:22:45,960
it was a very long days you have to kind

595
00:22:43,320 –> 00:22:48,000
of do that for a whole week break and

596
00:22:45,960 –> 00:22:50,220
because there was only it was a small

597
00:22:48,000 –> 00:22:52,440
agency it wasn’t a big agency it was a

598
00:22:50,220 –> 00:22:54,600
very Boutique agency it was just I think

599
00:22:52,440 –> 00:22:56,640
it was maybe like seven or six years old

600
00:22:54,600 –> 00:22:58,679
when I first started

601
00:22:56,640 –> 00:23:01,440
um so we didn’t really have like a big

602
00:22:58,679 –> 00:23:03,240
staff there so especially when people

603
00:23:01,440 –> 00:23:05,340
left and I moved up the ranks it was

604
00:23:03,240 –> 00:23:06,720
kind of like me and someone else were at

605
00:23:05,340 –> 00:23:10,140
the top

606
00:23:06,720 –> 00:23:12,059
um and then there was like two others uh

607
00:23:10,140 –> 00:23:14,039
junior Bookers who again were on the

608
00:23:12,059 –> 00:23:16,440
conveyor belt of like leaving and coming

609
00:23:14,039 –> 00:23:18,840
in and leaving yeah yeah so everything

610
00:23:16,440 –> 00:23:20,940
all the responsibilities were kind of up

611
00:23:18,840 –> 00:23:23,460
to us so we had to be there every day to

612
00:23:20,940 –> 00:23:25,980
kind of manage this agency especially my

613
00:23:23,460 –> 00:23:27,780
boss he then opened an agency over in

614
00:23:25,980 –> 00:23:30,360
America so he spent a lot of time over

615
00:23:27,780 –> 00:23:32,220
there as well and I know earlier you

616
00:23:30,360 –> 00:23:34,799
said about asked about my salary and I

617
00:23:32,220 –> 00:23:36,900
said it was enough at the time to live

618
00:23:34,799 –> 00:23:39,600
off but when you then start getting more

619
00:23:36,900 –> 00:23:42,659
and more responsibilities and you’re not

620
00:23:39,600 –> 00:23:44,700
just a model Booker you’re also like a

621
00:23:42,659 –> 00:23:46,919
kind of like a parent for these models

622
00:23:44,700 –> 00:23:49,320
like chaperoning them around and helping

623
00:23:46,919 –> 00:23:51,240
them get from A to B yeah and you’re

624
00:23:49,320 –> 00:23:53,460
also then a PA for your boss as well

625
00:23:51,240 –> 00:23:55,320
it’s kind of like well my salary does

626
00:23:53,460 –> 00:23:57,840
not reflect everything that I’m doing

627
00:23:55,320 –> 00:23:58,860
I’m basically five different people all

628
00:23:57,840 –> 00:24:02,940
at once

629
00:23:58,860 –> 00:24:05,760
so yeah we Circle back to quiet hiring

630
00:24:02,940 –> 00:24:08,600
Gina yes I hate those stupid buzzwords

631
00:24:05,760 –> 00:24:11,940
quiet hiring quiet quiet

632
00:24:08,600 –> 00:24:14,400
yeah can we start can we start a new

633
00:24:11,940 –> 00:24:16,080
buzzword quiet firing

634
00:24:14,400 –> 00:24:18,320
that’s already a thing

635
00:24:16,080 –> 00:24:20,520
is it how do you quiet fire someone

636
00:24:18,320 –> 00:24:22,740
describes how managers fail to

637
00:24:20,520 –> 00:24:24,720
adequately provide coaching support and

638
00:24:22,740 –> 00:24:27,840
career development to an employee which

639
00:24:24,720 –> 00:24:31,080
results in pushing the employee out of

640
00:24:27,840 –> 00:24:33,659
the organization at the very least it

641
00:24:31,080 –> 00:24:35,640
tarnishes your employer’s reputation as

642
00:24:33,659 –> 00:24:38,159
a good place to work and poisons team

643
00:24:35,640 –> 00:24:43,380
trust and even hurt your ability to keep

644
00:24:38,159 –> 00:24:44,940
customers happy when key employees exit

645
00:24:43,380 –> 00:24:47,179
um are they describing where we came

646
00:24:44,940 –> 00:24:47,179
from

647
00:24:48,260 –> 00:24:53,940
was that like an inside article about

648
00:24:51,299 –> 00:24:56,520
where we met

649
00:24:53,940 –> 00:25:01,260
like it it really is we just have to add

650
00:24:56,520 –> 00:25:03,360
like all could also could be a cult and

651
00:25:01,260 –> 00:25:05,039
then it would be perfect can we just

652
00:25:03,360 –> 00:25:07,620
cause here for a second and remind

653
00:25:05,039 –> 00:25:09,780
people that if this podcast is something

654
00:25:07,620 –> 00:25:11,880
you enjoy we would love to hear from you

655
00:25:09,780 –> 00:25:14,340
you can find us on Instagram LinkedIn

656
00:25:11,880 –> 00:25:16,380
and YouTube at let’s break up toxic

657
00:25:14,340 –> 00:25:18,179
workplace stories sharing and

658
00:25:16,380 –> 00:25:22,679
subscribing really helps us feel

659
00:25:18,179 –> 00:25:26,460
validated okay so Thalia what made you

660
00:25:22,679 –> 00:25:28,440
leave this position finally yeah what

661
00:25:26,460 –> 00:25:32,039
made you leave this this fantastic

662
00:25:28,440 –> 00:25:34,260
opportunity were you quiet fired

663
00:25:32,039 –> 00:25:36,240
I was not actually qualified they didn’t

664
00:25:34,260 –> 00:25:38,100
want me to leave so basically I was

665
00:25:36,240 –> 00:25:40,440
there for six years

666
00:25:38,100 –> 00:25:43,380
um I know you asked how I felt and when

667
00:25:40,440 –> 00:25:45,179
I did go into work and it was one of

668
00:25:43,380 –> 00:25:48,179
those things where

669
00:25:45,179 –> 00:25:51,000
I kind of sold my soul to the job

670
00:25:48,179 –> 00:25:53,760
um I wasn’t the person that I was when I

671
00:25:51,000 –> 00:25:56,700
started to how I left I I was always

672
00:25:53,760 –> 00:25:59,039
quite quirky very awkward very you know

673
00:25:56,700 –> 00:26:02,520
just weird but fun like I was a very fun

674
00:25:59,039 –> 00:26:05,100
person and when I was working there it

675
00:26:02,520 –> 00:26:08,700
was everyone you know the book is a call

676
00:26:05,100 –> 00:26:11,279
the models are cool and you kind of like

677
00:26:08,700 –> 00:26:12,900
my comparison probably started there but

678
00:26:11,279 –> 00:26:14,760
I just didn’t realize it and you start

679
00:26:12,900 –> 00:26:16,559
comparing yourself to everyone else like

680
00:26:14,760 –> 00:26:19,200
to the models and what they’re dressing

681
00:26:16,559 –> 00:26:21,299
like and to the other book is and I

682
00:26:19,200 –> 00:26:23,340
basically started to replicate what they

683
00:26:21,299 –> 00:26:25,980
were wearing I kind of lost who I was as

684
00:26:23,340 –> 00:26:27,840
a person while I was there because at

685
00:26:25,980 –> 00:26:29,640
the same time I was you know I was a

686
00:26:27,840 –> 00:26:32,520
very sensitive child I was very

687
00:26:29,640 –> 00:26:34,559
emotional and I would cry all the time

688
00:26:32,520 –> 00:26:36,960
at school even if someone just looked at

689
00:26:34,559 –> 00:26:38,880
me I was kind of like that child I don’t

690
00:26:36,960 –> 00:26:40,980
know why I was I just had I don’t know I

691
00:26:38,880 –> 00:26:42,299
was very in touch with my emotions and I

692
00:26:40,980 –> 00:26:44,760
guess it’s kind of the trend now but

693
00:26:42,299 –> 00:26:46,380
back in the night like 90s naughties it

694
00:26:44,760 –> 00:26:48,299
wasn’t

695
00:26:46,380 –> 00:26:49,860
um so when I started working now I was

696
00:26:48,299 –> 00:26:52,440
still quite emotional and then obviously

697
00:26:49,860 –> 00:26:54,779
I was broken down

698
00:26:52,440 –> 00:26:56,520
um to the point where nothing really

699
00:26:54,779 –> 00:26:58,020
kind I just wasn’t bothered by anything

700
00:26:56,520 –> 00:27:00,059
anymore

701
00:26:58,020 –> 00:27:01,559
um so I’d been there for five years and

702
00:27:00,059 –> 00:27:03,659
people would yell at me I’d be like I

703
00:27:01,559 –> 00:27:06,299
don’t care it kind of became like that

704
00:27:03,659 –> 00:27:08,460
like I lost passion for the job

705
00:27:06,299 –> 00:27:11,460
um I lost respect for a lot of people

706
00:27:08,460 –> 00:27:13,559
who worked there and it kind of just

707
00:27:11,460 –> 00:27:15,960
went on like that for a while and then I

708
00:27:13,559 –> 00:27:19,440
lost myself I started become like a huge

709
00:27:15,960 –> 00:27:21,659
[ __ ] to people and I had you know like

710
00:27:19,440 –> 00:27:23,760
how much of a huge [ __ ] like did you

711
00:27:21,659 –> 00:27:27,240
just like lose the [ __ ] like did you

712
00:27:23,760 –> 00:27:29,700
just yeah come off yeah what how did

713
00:27:27,240 –> 00:27:32,100
yeah what happened give us give us your

714
00:27:29,700 –> 00:27:35,400
definition by an anecdotal story of how

715
00:27:32,100 –> 00:27:37,559
you became a huge [ __ ] oh can we get

716
00:27:35,400 –> 00:27:40,020
friend references at this point yeah

717
00:27:37,559 –> 00:27:42,539
because like your level of [ __ ] I have

718
00:27:40,020 –> 00:27:43,980
a feeling is like nowhere near my level

719
00:27:42,539 –> 00:27:46,440
of [ __ ]

720
00:27:43,980 –> 00:27:48,419
probably not I don’t know and so

721
00:27:46,440 –> 00:27:51,000
obviously because I was yelled at as an

722
00:27:48,419 –> 00:27:53,159
intern you kind of like you know you you

723
00:27:51,000 –> 00:27:55,380
then morph into the people who are you

724
00:27:53,159 –> 00:27:57,179
think it’s acceptable so then

725
00:27:55,380 –> 00:27:59,400
yeah exactly because it’s just

726
00:27:57,179 –> 00:28:01,080
normalized so much in the English in the

727
00:27:59,400 –> 00:28:03,120
fashion industry everyone’s yelling at

728
00:28:01,080 –> 00:28:05,700
each other and then because you’re

729
00:28:03,120 –> 00:28:08,279
losing so much pain um patience it’s a

730
00:28:05,700 –> 00:28:10,700
very high pressured stressful job and if

731
00:28:08,279 –> 00:28:13,380
someone below you does make a mistake

732
00:28:10,700 –> 00:28:15,179
you do just yell at them because it’s

733
00:28:13,380 –> 00:28:17,460
just like how you know I I talked you

734
00:28:15,179 –> 00:28:18,900
through this and you still mess it up so

735
00:28:17,460 –> 00:28:20,820
you kind of do then take your

736
00:28:18,900 –> 00:28:22,200
frustrations out on them where it’s

737
00:28:20,820 –> 00:28:23,700
really looking back it’s like well maybe

738
00:28:22,200 –> 00:28:25,200
it was my fault because I didn’t explain

739
00:28:23,700 –> 00:28:27,059
it very well

740
00:28:25,200 –> 00:28:28,980
um so it’s stuff like that it I think is

741
00:28:27,059 –> 00:28:30,659
what you said earlier about the whole

742
00:28:28,980 –> 00:28:32,760
don’t take it personally it’s like

743
00:28:30,659 –> 00:28:35,220
people are yelling at someone else for

744
00:28:32,760 –> 00:28:36,659
their own [ __ ] up but they just you know

745
00:28:35,220 –> 00:28:39,659
you can’t admit that to yourself and you

746
00:28:36,659 –> 00:28:41,640
don’t really see it then so I guess in a

747
00:28:39,659 –> 00:28:43,980
way I became a [ __ ] in that way I was a

748
00:28:41,640 –> 00:28:46,559
[ __ ] when I went out um especially when

749
00:28:43,980 –> 00:28:48,480
I was drinking and partying you know

750
00:28:46,559 –> 00:28:50,880
just kind of just like pushing people

751
00:28:48,480 –> 00:28:52,620
kind of thing I mean I was never violent

752
00:28:50,880 –> 00:28:54,179
but if someone kind of got it my way you

753
00:28:52,620 –> 00:28:55,919
know when girls dance they like really

754
00:28:54,179 –> 00:28:58,200
get up in your space

755
00:28:55,919 –> 00:29:00,360
so I’m just kind of like push them away

756
00:28:58,200 –> 00:29:02,460
and so I kind of gone like it’s like

757
00:29:00,360 –> 00:29:03,779
pushing matches and stuff

758
00:29:02,460 –> 00:29:05,279
um I just lost so much patience

759
00:29:03,779 –> 00:29:06,720
especially with slow people on the

760
00:29:05,279 –> 00:29:09,720
street so I kind of would like move did

761
00:29:06,720 –> 00:29:11,240
you punch people in the back of the head

762
00:29:09,720 –> 00:29:13,440
[Music]

763
00:29:11,240 –> 00:29:15,120
that’s what I imagine doing to slow

764
00:29:13,440 –> 00:29:18,419
people because I’m really tall so I walk

765
00:29:15,120 –> 00:29:20,360
in place it’s so frustrating

766
00:29:18,419 –> 00:29:23,520
um

767
00:29:20,360 –> 00:29:24,840
all we need in New York is a good cattle

768
00:29:23,520 –> 00:29:28,520
prod

769
00:29:24,840 –> 00:29:30,720
uce people just kind of hurt people yeah

770
00:29:28,520 –> 00:29:32,940
I mean I think they should have on the

771
00:29:30,720 –> 00:29:34,799
pavement a slow lane and a fast lane if

772
00:29:32,940 –> 00:29:36,659
you’re slow just move to the side

773
00:29:34,799 –> 00:29:40,380
there’s no problem there is that people

774
00:29:36,659 –> 00:29:42,659
it takes a very interesting type of

775
00:29:40,380 –> 00:29:45,179
person who can reflect enough and

776
00:29:42,659 –> 00:29:47,520
actually say I am slow because most

777
00:29:45,179 –> 00:29:48,840
people think like oh I’m walking so

778
00:29:47,520 –> 00:29:51,779
[  ] fast what the [  ] these people

779
00:29:48,840 –> 00:29:53,580
want and then it’s like and of course

780
00:29:51,779 –> 00:29:55,020
tourists in New York they’re everywhere

781
00:29:53,580 –> 00:29:56,520
and you’re just like oh my God please I

782
00:29:55,020 –> 00:29:59,460
have to get to work like you’re in my

783
00:29:56,520 –> 00:30:03,380
way I’ve actually shouted move before

784
00:29:59,460 –> 00:30:05,940
like oh yeah yeah I’d be like move

785
00:30:03,380 –> 00:30:07,559
or like if people are standing at like

786
00:30:05,940 –> 00:30:10,200
the top of a stairwell to like the

787
00:30:07,559 –> 00:30:13,799
subway I’ll be like that’s a smart place

788
00:30:10,200 –> 00:30:15,659
to stand like really loud I went I went

789
00:30:13,799 –> 00:30:17,760
to the movies the other night with my

790
00:30:15,659 –> 00:30:19,080
son and there was this group of kids

791
00:30:17,760 –> 00:30:22,620
sitting in front of us the movie house

792
00:30:19,080 –> 00:30:25,740
was [ __ ] empty there was maybe a

793
00:30:22,620 –> 00:30:30,059
total of 10 people in the movie like

794
00:30:25,740 –> 00:30:31,559
total and thanks and so there was this

795
00:30:30,059 –> 00:30:32,580
group of kids in front of us and it was

796
00:30:31,559 –> 00:30:34,740
just like [ __ ] talking the whole way

797
00:30:32,580 –> 00:30:36,659
through and I was like excuse me shush

798
00:30:34,740 –> 00:30:39,000
and the little girl turns around she’s

799
00:30:36,659 –> 00:30:40,799
like did that lady just tell us to [ __ ]

800
00:30:39,000 –> 00:30:43,140
I’m like yes I did

801
00:30:40,799 –> 00:30:45,960
me that’s okay I took my daughter to

802
00:30:43,140 –> 00:30:47,700
like the state fair or whatever because

803
00:30:45,960 –> 00:30:50,640
now I live in like

804
00:30:47,700 –> 00:30:52,799
some annoying place in Florida it’s very

805
00:30:50,640 –> 00:30:55,260
much like the country for me even though

806
00:30:52,799 –> 00:30:56,760
it’s not technically a country like the

807
00:30:55,260 –> 00:30:59,279
country

808
00:30:56,760 –> 00:31:01,440
um and I I had to go on a ride with her

809
00:30:59,279 –> 00:31:03,240
because she was just at like the height

810
00:31:01,440 –> 00:31:06,840
limit and there was like these two kids

811
00:31:03,240 –> 00:31:09,059
and they were like like hanging their

812
00:31:06,840 –> 00:31:10,860
heads out the window and the girl was

813
00:31:09,059 –> 00:31:13,919
saying to the little boy you’re gonna

814
00:31:10,860 –> 00:31:15,539
die I think his name was Aaron or Ethan

815
00:31:13,919 –> 00:31:17,580
or something and I was like yeah Ethan

816
00:31:15,539 –> 00:31:20,220
you’re gonna [ __ ] die because they

817
00:31:17,580 –> 00:31:22,500
were so loud and then ever since and

818
00:31:20,220 –> 00:31:24,779
then they were just like

819
00:31:22,500 –> 00:31:27,000
like I scare the [ __ ] out of them but

820
00:31:24,779 –> 00:31:30,380
they were really annoying I’m loving it

821
00:31:27,000 –> 00:31:30,380
I was not there for it

822
00:31:31,620 –> 00:31:36,059
you know you feel better the other day

823
00:31:33,240 –> 00:31:39,000
at the gym I was looking for 15 pound

824
00:31:36,059 –> 00:31:40,980
dumbbells and I found them like in the

825
00:31:39,000 –> 00:31:44,159
corner Nicola already knows this story

826
00:31:40,980 –> 00:31:46,020
and I go to pick him up and this guy

827
00:31:44,159 –> 00:31:48,419
comes over and he’s like no no I’m using

828
00:31:46,020 –> 00:31:51,059
them and I said oh that’s such a

829
00:31:48,419 –> 00:31:53,159
lightweight for a man and I walked away

830
00:31:51,059 –> 00:31:56,279
laughs

831
00:31:53,159 –> 00:32:00,440
like an American [ __ ] is probably very

832
00:31:56,279 –> 00:32:00,440
different a British [ __ ]

833
00:32:01,100 –> 00:32:05,100
but I guess yeah in answer to your

834
00:32:03,539 –> 00:32:07,320
original question

835
00:32:05,100 –> 00:32:09,360
um I mean for me like how I get like how

836
00:32:07,320 –> 00:32:12,419
I was at University to how I was in the

837
00:32:09,360 –> 00:32:15,179
job I did like bump up a level of um

838
00:32:12,419 –> 00:32:16,620
[  ] [  ] level yeah um for me and I

839
00:32:15,179 –> 00:32:18,360
just it kind of got to the point where I

840
00:32:16,620 –> 00:32:20,240
didn’t like I didn’t even like myself I

841
00:32:18,360 –> 00:32:22,740
didn’t like the person that I had become

842
00:32:20,240 –> 00:32:24,840
and obviously I didn’t deal with my

843
00:32:22,740 –> 00:32:27,179
stress or this toxic workplace in a

844
00:32:24,840 –> 00:32:29,760
healthy way I did just go out every

845
00:32:27,179 –> 00:32:31,620
night and Escape through alcohol I

846
00:32:29,760 –> 00:32:33,840
partied a lot

847
00:32:31,620 –> 00:32:35,940
um even if I did party if I went home I

848
00:32:33,840 –> 00:32:38,039
had to have a bottle of wine with me or

849
00:32:35,940 –> 00:32:40,620
like a little we call them tinnies in

850
00:32:38,039 –> 00:32:42,899
the UK and they’re basically like gin

851
00:32:40,620 –> 00:32:44,760
and tonic in a tin and so I’d go and buy

852
00:32:42,899 –> 00:32:47,039
them and it was kind of like it was just

853
00:32:44,760 –> 00:32:48,899
normal for me to go home every night and

854
00:32:47,039 –> 00:32:50,760
have a drink to calm down

855
00:32:48,899 –> 00:32:52,620
um from the day

856
00:32:50,760 –> 00:32:54,659
um I would just like mindlessly watch TV

857
00:32:52,620 –> 00:32:57,720
at the week cans like not really do

858
00:32:54,659 –> 00:32:59,880
anything I’d be hung over and I also

859
00:32:57,720 –> 00:33:01,320
emotional eating was another big thing

860
00:32:59,880 –> 00:33:02,820
for me as well

861
00:33:01,320 –> 00:33:04,500
um I would just eat my feelings so I’d

862
00:33:02,820 –> 00:33:06,000
be eat like ordering Domino’s every

863
00:33:04,500 –> 00:33:08,520
weekend and I’m like this is going to

864
00:33:06,000 –> 00:33:11,580
make you feel better

865
00:33:08,520 –> 00:33:13,320
yeah I don’t it does but I haven’t had a

866
00:33:11,580 –> 00:33:15,000
pages but it was like it’s kind of like

867
00:33:13,320 –> 00:33:16,740
everything I kind of did it was for

868
00:33:15,000 –> 00:33:18,299
instant gratification to make me feel

869
00:33:16,740 –> 00:33:23,460
better in the moment I wasn’t actually

870
00:33:18,299 –> 00:33:25,380
solving the issues deep down and so yeah

871
00:33:23,460 –> 00:33:29,340
so I kind of went on like this for like

872
00:33:25,380 –> 00:33:33,179
three yeah two or three years of kind of

873
00:33:29,340 –> 00:33:35,279
just escaping through alcohol partying

874
00:33:33,179 –> 00:33:37,260
um there was some drug taking there as

875
00:33:35,279 –> 00:33:38,460
well and it just kind of got to the

876
00:33:37,260 –> 00:33:41,399
point

877
00:33:38,460 –> 00:33:43,919
um when I was 27 while I was just not

878
00:33:41,399 –> 00:33:45,779
excited to go to work I mean was I ever

879
00:33:43,919 –> 00:33:48,120
excited I always you know it’s like the

880
00:33:45,779 –> 00:33:50,159
Sunday scaries it’s a Sunday scaries

881
00:33:48,120 –> 00:33:51,480
isn’t it where after a weekend you’re

882
00:33:50,159 –> 00:33:53,580
just not looking forward to going into

883
00:33:51,480 –> 00:33:55,860
the office for me it was literally every

884
00:33:53,580 –> 00:33:57,539
day was a scary it was literally like I

885
00:33:55,860 –> 00:34:00,000
really just don’t want to go in Monday

886
00:33:57,539 –> 00:34:01,860
through Sunday scaries for you exactly

887
00:34:00,000 –> 00:34:04,980
and even yeah because even at the

888
00:34:01,860 –> 00:34:07,080
weekend I still possibly have to work so

889
00:34:04,980 –> 00:34:09,000
yeah it kind of just got too much for me

890
00:34:07,080 –> 00:34:11,520
in the end and I’ll just go to work and

891
00:34:09,000 –> 00:34:12,839
I’ll just be super depressed groggy I

892
00:34:11,520 –> 00:34:15,540
would start fights with people because I

893
00:34:12,839 –> 00:34:17,339
just wasn’t in the mood anymore and I

894
00:34:15,540 –> 00:34:19,560
kind of just lost the excitement for

895
00:34:17,339 –> 00:34:22,440
life and I think it got to the point

896
00:34:19,560 –> 00:34:24,839
like I had a couple of panic attacks

897
00:34:22,440 –> 00:34:27,359
um just during the day like kind of

898
00:34:24,839 –> 00:34:29,419
there was one like my anxiety got really

899
00:34:27,359 –> 00:34:32,280
bad like I was going to a birthday party

900
00:34:29,419 –> 00:34:34,139
or birthday party but yeah I know that

901
00:34:32,280 –> 00:34:35,879
sounds like really childish and young

902
00:34:34,139 –> 00:34:37,679
but it was a birthday party with a

903
00:34:35,879 –> 00:34:39,659
friend and

904
00:34:37,679 –> 00:34:41,460
um she kind of went into the party and

905
00:34:39,659 –> 00:34:43,500
like something was just holding me back

906
00:34:41,460 –> 00:34:45,720
and stopping me from going in and I was

907
00:34:43,500 –> 00:34:47,220
like I can’t face these people like I

908
00:34:45,720 –> 00:34:48,599
had so much anxiety at the time I was

909
00:34:47,220 –> 00:34:50,399
like how do you know what I mean it was

910
00:34:48,599 –> 00:34:52,260
like I just couldn’t walk in so I

911
00:34:50,399 –> 00:34:53,520
literally ran away and went home and she

912
00:34:52,260 –> 00:34:55,679
called me and like where have you gone I

913
00:34:53,520 –> 00:34:56,820
was like I I just had to come home and

914
00:34:55,679 –> 00:34:58,560
it was stuff like that I was like this

915
00:34:56,820 –> 00:35:01,500
can’t be normal like I used to be so

916
00:34:58,560 –> 00:35:03,599
sociable meeting new people but now like

917
00:35:01,500 –> 00:35:06,720
I cringe at the idea of meeting new

918
00:35:03,599 –> 00:35:08,400
people and especially when in London as

919
00:35:06,720 –> 00:35:10,680
well I think a lot of my friends

920
00:35:08,400 –> 00:35:12,780
friend’s friends they were Bankers they

921
00:35:10,680 –> 00:35:14,520
worked in investment

922
00:35:12,780 –> 00:35:16,140
um hedge funds I guess I mean I don’t

923
00:35:14,520 –> 00:35:18,420
really know they were very like

924
00:35:16,140 –> 00:35:20,280
professional and they would ask me what

925
00:35:18,420 –> 00:35:21,300
I did and I say I was a model agent and

926
00:35:20,280 –> 00:35:23,820
they’d be like so what do you do just

927
00:35:21,300 –> 00:35:25,740
give out directions all day and it was

928
00:35:23,820 –> 00:35:27,660
kind of like you know you kind of want

929
00:35:25,740 –> 00:35:29,700
to sit there and be like well no I do I

930
00:35:27,660 –> 00:35:31,079
do visas for people I’m a PA for my boss

931
00:35:29,700 –> 00:35:32,760
like I’m doing this I’m constantly on

932
00:35:31,079 –> 00:35:34,200
the phone like I get yelled like you

933
00:35:32,760 –> 00:35:36,720
know kind of give them the whole task

934
00:35:34,200 –> 00:35:38,280
list of what you do but you don’t really

935
00:35:36,720 –> 00:35:40,560
have the effort when you’re out drinking

936
00:35:38,280 –> 00:35:42,599
so you’re just like yeah basically so it

937
00:35:40,560 –> 00:35:44,339
was kind of like a thing like I couldn’t

938
00:35:42,599 –> 00:35:46,980
even feel like I could talk about my job

939
00:35:44,339 –> 00:35:49,260
without it being you know without

940
00:35:46,980 –> 00:35:52,079
feeling embarrassed as well kind of it

941
00:35:49,260 –> 00:35:53,760
sounds like you just it sounds honestly

942
00:35:52,079 –> 00:35:55,260
in a word it sounds like you were

943
00:35:53,760 –> 00:35:58,560
demoralized

944
00:35:55,260 –> 00:35:59,460
yes that’s a great word thank you for

945
00:35:58,560 –> 00:36:01,380
that

946
00:35:59,460 –> 00:36:03,180
because it’s like you were getting it

947
00:36:01,380 –> 00:36:05,280
from every angle like you were getting

948
00:36:03,180 –> 00:36:07,079
it at work you were overworked you

949
00:36:05,280 –> 00:36:10,020
weren’t taking care of yourself you were

950
00:36:07,079 –> 00:36:11,640
drinking too much you were emotional

951
00:36:10,020 –> 00:36:13,980
I don’t know if it was binge eating but

952
00:36:11,640 –> 00:36:15,720
you were emotionally eating which is

953
00:36:13,980 –> 00:36:18,619
never good because then the guilt that

954
00:36:15,720 –> 00:36:21,900
comes after that is like massive and

955
00:36:18,619 –> 00:36:23,880
like it just perpetuates the cycle so it

956
00:36:21,900 –> 00:36:26,460
sounds like and then like you go out you

957
00:36:23,880 –> 00:36:28,980
try to talk to someone and people demean

958
00:36:26,460 –> 00:36:31,079
your job without get meaning to they

959
00:36:28,980 –> 00:36:33,300
don’t know that they are but it’s like

960
00:36:31,079 –> 00:36:35,280
this is what’s putting food on my table

961
00:36:33,300 –> 00:36:38,900
this is what’s putting my The Dominoes

962
00:36:35,280 –> 00:36:38,900
in my mouth at 3am

963
00:36:41,119 –> 00:36:46,680
this is what’s fueling my alcohol yeah

964
00:36:44,099 –> 00:36:49,619
so don’t [ __ ] like demean my position

965
00:36:46,680 –> 00:36:51,599
I mean like I it would be like the

966
00:36:49,619 –> 00:36:53,339
equivalent if someone said to like a

967
00:36:51,599 –> 00:36:55,980
finance guy oh so you move numbers

968
00:36:53,339 –> 00:36:58,980
around on a computer screen cool which

969
00:36:55,980 –> 00:37:02,040
is essentially what they do I mean

970
00:36:58,980 –> 00:37:04,200
yeah exactly that yeah I think it was

971
00:37:02,040 –> 00:37:08,160
that I was just demoralized in a way and

972
00:37:04,200 –> 00:37:09,119
I wasn’t really looked on as you know

973
00:37:08,160 –> 00:37:12,359
just

974
00:37:09,119 –> 00:37:14,220
as as oh what’s the word yeah just like

975
00:37:12,359 –> 00:37:17,339
as an intelligent person I think I was

976
00:37:14,220 –> 00:37:20,280
like the word value in any yeah thank

977
00:37:17,339 –> 00:37:22,859
you yeah I was just valued as well

978
00:37:20,280 –> 00:37:24,540
um and so I think uh eventually that all

979
00:37:22,859 –> 00:37:26,520
just got to me and I did I hit rock

980
00:37:24,540 –> 00:37:28,079
bottom in the end and I was like I just

981
00:37:26,520 –> 00:37:29,579
can’t carry on like this is not what I

982
00:37:28,079 –> 00:37:32,160
wanted to be doing for the for the next

983
00:37:29,579 –> 00:37:34,500
40 odd years like there’s got to be more

984
00:37:32,160 –> 00:37:36,500
to life than this

985
00:37:34,500 –> 00:37:36,500
um

986
00:37:40,160 –> 00:37:47,220
okay just me now so what did your Rock

987
00:37:44,280 –> 00:37:49,339
Bottom look like oh I mean what bottom

988
00:37:47,220 –> 00:37:51,599
like I just described it was did she

989
00:37:49,339 –> 00:37:53,040
partying all the time

990
00:37:51,599 –> 00:37:55,200
um just kind of like going out for the

991
00:37:53,040 –> 00:37:57,720
sake of it in a way

992
00:37:55,200 –> 00:37:59,040
um a lot of my friends started seeing

993
00:37:57,720 –> 00:38:00,720
people

994
00:37:59,040 –> 00:38:01,859
um so they would always be busy and

995
00:38:00,720 –> 00:38:03,480
stuff so it kind of got to the point

996
00:38:01,859 –> 00:38:04,920
where I literally just like scraping at

997
00:38:03,480 –> 00:38:06,359
the barrel trying to find people to go

998
00:38:04,920 –> 00:38:09,119
out with me because it’s like I kind of

999
00:38:06,359 –> 00:38:11,220
have those moments yeah

1000
00:38:09,119 –> 00:38:13,440
like I need to kind of blow off steam

1001
00:38:11,220 –> 00:38:15,900
like I need to to go out um but

1002
00:38:13,440 –> 00:38:17,940
obviously in the end it’s like well yeah

1003
00:38:15,900 –> 00:38:19,440
the Barrel’s empty so then obviously I

1004
00:38:17,940 –> 00:38:21,960
just would just drown my sorrows at home

1005
00:38:19,440 –> 00:38:24,660
by myself with a bottle of wine uh

1006
00:38:21,960 –> 00:38:27,480
Netflix and just kind of just stay there

1007
00:38:24,660 –> 00:38:28,680
that’s yeah a lot of anxiety as well

1008
00:38:27,480 –> 00:38:30,960
just just

1009
00:38:28,680 –> 00:38:32,940
very I don’t want to obviously I was

1010
00:38:30,960 –> 00:38:34,800
never self-diagnosed

1011
00:38:32,940 –> 00:38:36,599
um self-diagnosed I was never diagnosed

1012
00:38:34,800 –> 00:38:38,280
with obviously depression but you know

1013
00:38:36,599 –> 00:38:40,440
when you’re kind of like in that state I

1014
00:38:38,280 –> 00:38:42,839
had like very low moments

1015
00:38:40,440 –> 00:38:44,460
and I was like you know looking at this

1016
00:38:42,839 –> 00:38:45,780
there has to be a light at the end of

1017
00:38:44,460 –> 00:38:47,700
the tunnel

1018
00:38:45,780 –> 00:38:49,859
um and I’d already had I always had this

1019
00:38:47,700 –> 00:38:52,140
idea of going traveling

1020
00:38:49,859 –> 00:38:53,640
um so it would just be kind of K became

1021
00:38:52,140 –> 00:38:56,400
this thing it’s like okay I’m gonna go

1022
00:38:53,640 –> 00:38:59,040
and travel this is what I’m gonna do so

1023
00:38:56,400 –> 00:39:01,140
I ended up booking a trip and then I had

1024
00:38:59,040 –> 00:39:03,240
to give him my notice because I was so

1025
00:39:01,140 –> 00:39:04,079
high up I was basically

1026
00:39:03,240 –> 00:39:06,060
um

1027
00:39:04,079 –> 00:39:07,920
encouraged to given a notice even though

1028
00:39:06,060 –> 00:39:09,599
everyone else just left but it wasn’t

1029
00:39:07,920 –> 00:39:11,700
just like a two-month notice two week

1030
00:39:09,599 –> 00:39:13,619
notice I had to give three months notice

1031
00:39:11,700 –> 00:39:16,619
just because I’d been there and my boss

1032
00:39:13,619 –> 00:39:19,320
really liked me I’m assuming contracts

1033
00:39:16,619 –> 00:39:21,359
Were Somehow now in place no so the

1034
00:39:19,320 –> 00:39:24,540
contract sorry the contracts were still

1035
00:39:21,359 –> 00:39:26,760
never in place but like I said like yeah

1036
00:39:24,540 –> 00:39:28,920
I lost who I was as a person but I still

1037
00:39:26,760 –> 00:39:31,980
didn’t want to piss them off because of

1038
00:39:28,920 –> 00:39:34,560
my people-pleasing a bit like ways there

1039
00:39:31,980 –> 00:39:37,260
is something to be said about

1040
00:39:34,560 –> 00:39:40,020
um you know do like not Burning Bridges

1041
00:39:37,260 –> 00:39:43,200
with companies because you never know

1042
00:39:40,020 –> 00:39:45,720
like where you might find other people

1043
00:39:43,200 –> 00:39:48,060
um although some like I’m just thinking

1044
00:39:45,720 –> 00:39:50,400
of my history like some people if I

1045
00:39:48,060 –> 00:39:51,780
cross their paths I will not entertain

1046
00:39:50,400 –> 00:39:55,320
it

1047
00:39:51,780 –> 00:39:58,980
um but it’s still good to leave on good

1048
00:39:55,320 –> 00:40:00,480
terms if you are able to so yeah yeah of

1049
00:39:58,980 –> 00:40:01,740
course and I think that was my reasoning

1050
00:40:00,480 –> 00:40:03,420
then because it’s like I know I wanted

1051
00:40:01,740 –> 00:40:05,460
to go away traveling but at the time

1052
00:40:03,420 –> 00:40:07,619
which was going to be for six months and

1053
00:40:05,460 –> 00:40:09,180
so I kind of have this idea I was gonna

1054
00:40:07,619 –> 00:40:10,560
go traveling and then I’m gonna be fixed

1055
00:40:09,180 –> 00:40:12,119
and then I’m gonna come back and just

1056
00:40:10,560 –> 00:40:14,339
like basically go back to my old life

1057
00:40:12,119 –> 00:40:16,380
live back in London and get a job again

1058
00:40:14,339 –> 00:40:17,700
in fashion industry so it’s like I did

1059
00:40:16,380 –> 00:40:19,800
want to keep those connections strong

1060
00:40:17,700 –> 00:40:21,660
and not burn any Bridges like you said

1061
00:40:19,800 –> 00:40:23,099
so I think that’s why I then ended up

1062
00:40:21,660 –> 00:40:25,440
doing it because I didn’t know what was

1063
00:40:23,099 –> 00:40:27,359
going to happen so I ended up giving my

1064
00:40:25,440 –> 00:40:28,740
three-month notice and then those three

1065
00:40:27,359 –> 00:40:31,140
months were probably like the worst

1066
00:40:28,740 –> 00:40:33,060
three months of the whole six years

1067
00:40:31,140 –> 00:40:35,400
because everyone knew that I was leaving

1068
00:40:33,060 –> 00:40:37,079
and it kind of just became like this

1069
00:40:35,400 –> 00:40:38,940
really awkward thing like no one would

1070
00:40:37,079 –> 00:40:41,640
really talk to me about it like it

1071
00:40:38,940 –> 00:40:44,040
wasn’t it’s very hard like with modeling

1072
00:40:41,640 –> 00:40:47,460
agencies once you’re in the modeling

1073
00:40:44,040 –> 00:40:49,500
agency as a Booker you barely leave you

1074
00:40:47,460 –> 00:40:51,359
kind of switch modeling agency to

1075
00:40:49,500 –> 00:40:53,400
modeling agency but you don’t really or

1076
00:40:51,359 –> 00:40:55,320
you go into casting directing kind of

1077
00:40:53,400 –> 00:40:58,740
thing you don’t really remove yourself

1078
00:40:55,320 –> 00:41:00,119
from that and go on a separate path and

1079
00:40:58,740 –> 00:41:03,780
so I think

1080
00:41:00,119 –> 00:41:05,280
when I was there it was

1081
00:41:03,780 –> 00:41:06,540
um kind of this thing I’ve almost like

1082
00:41:05,280 –> 00:41:07,680
you know I said I was going to go

1083
00:41:06,540 –> 00:41:09,619
traveling I’m not going to go find

1084
00:41:07,680 –> 00:41:11,820
another job and a modeling agency

1085
00:41:09,619 –> 00:41:14,700
yeah they’re literally like what’s wrong

1086
00:41:11,820 –> 00:41:17,579
with you you’re 27 like on you past that

1087
00:41:14,700 –> 00:41:18,960
and it was kind of like listening to so

1088
00:41:17,579 –> 00:41:20,520
they didn’t really talk about it they

1089
00:41:18,960 –> 00:41:23,099
never once asked me about where I was

1090
00:41:20,520 –> 00:41:24,900
going on my trip or and these are the

1091
00:41:23,099 –> 00:41:26,160
people like I knew for so long I worked

1092
00:41:24,900 –> 00:41:28,920
with them every day spending the

1093
00:41:26,160 –> 00:41:31,500
majority of your time with them exactly

1094
00:41:28,920 –> 00:41:33,839
yeah and also over time with them as

1095
00:41:31,500 –> 00:41:36,480
well because it’s not just nine to five

1096
00:41:33,839 –> 00:41:38,640
it’s like nine to three a.m yeah exactly

1097
00:41:36,480 –> 00:41:41,040
like on the weekend and one of the

1098
00:41:38,640 –> 00:41:43,140
people that I did work with

1099
00:41:41,040 –> 00:41:45,480
um closely I’d known I’d known them for

1100
00:41:43,140 –> 00:41:47,579
six years and you know I considered them

1101
00:41:45,480 –> 00:41:49,560
a really good friend but then when I

1102
00:41:47,579 –> 00:41:52,320
kind of had it in my notice

1103
00:41:49,560 –> 00:41:54,119
I realized there was yeah it was on it

1104
00:41:52,320 –> 00:41:56,099
was when I realized when I’d handed him

1105
00:41:54,119 –> 00:41:58,140
I notice I’d realized what we obviously

1106
00:41:56,099 –> 00:42:00,180
aren’t friends because I start just

1107
00:41:58,140 –> 00:42:03,060
really betrayed in a way we argued all

1108
00:42:00,180 –> 00:42:05,220
the time I kind of got um I felt left

1109
00:42:03,060 –> 00:42:07,619
out of things there would be scouting

1110
00:42:05,220 –> 00:42:10,260
trips where you basically go to

1111
00:42:07,619 –> 00:42:13,619
um festivals and concerts to kind of

1112
00:42:10,260 –> 00:42:15,540
scout for new models and I I wouldn’t I

1113
00:42:13,619 –> 00:42:18,780
wouldn’t be invited to them even though

1114
00:42:15,540 –> 00:42:20,640
I was you know the senior Booker yeah

1115
00:42:18,780 –> 00:42:22,859
the junior Bookers would go with the

1116
00:42:20,640 –> 00:42:25,079
other senior Booker so it’s kind of like

1117
00:42:22,859 –> 00:42:26,579
well how why how am I not doing these

1118
00:42:25,079 –> 00:42:28,920
things they’re like well it’s because

1119
00:42:26,579 –> 00:42:30,960
you’re leaving so I was very I was

1120
00:42:28,920 –> 00:42:33,540
started to be phased out

1121
00:42:30,960 –> 00:42:34,920
um a lot which was hurtful as well

1122
00:42:33,540 –> 00:42:37,020
um it was just like a really awkward

1123
00:42:34,920 –> 00:42:39,420
workplace to turn up into and that’s

1124
00:42:37,020 –> 00:42:41,940
when my my scaries

1125
00:42:39,420 –> 00:42:43,500
um kind of yeah became the worst it was

1126
00:42:41,940 –> 00:42:45,780
like I really don’t want to go in I just

1127
00:42:43,500 –> 00:42:48,540
kind of want to leave now but you know I

1128
00:42:45,780 –> 00:42:49,920
kept my word I’m a loyal person I’m not

1129
00:42:48,540 –> 00:42:51,839
someone who is just going to turn my

1130
00:42:49,920 –> 00:42:54,060
back on someone like that so it’s like

1131
00:42:51,839 –> 00:42:58,400
my loyalty kept me going in every day

1132
00:42:54,060 –> 00:42:58,400
for three months and yeah

1133
00:43:01,140 –> 00:43:05,579
I mean I have to admit like even though

1134
00:43:03,660 –> 00:43:07,440
it was a like a really toxic workplace

1135
00:43:05,579 –> 00:43:08,819
and the job itself was toxic and like

1136
00:43:07,440 –> 00:43:10,440
the people

1137
00:43:08,819 –> 00:43:12,660
where I talk to like everything the

1138
00:43:10,440 –> 00:43:14,640
whole thing about it was toxic I I

1139
00:43:12,660 –> 00:43:16,200
learned so much at that job and it’s not

1140
00:43:14,640 –> 00:43:18,540
like I’m sitting here wanting to bash

1141
00:43:16,200 –> 00:43:20,760
money agencies and stuff like I’ve

1142
00:43:18,540 –> 00:43:23,040
become a I wouldn’t say a better person

1143
00:43:20,760 –> 00:43:25,619
because I did become a better person but

1144
00:43:23,040 –> 00:43:27,660
my growth from the person I walked

1145
00:43:25,619 –> 00:43:29,280
through into the door

1146
00:43:27,660 –> 00:43:31,500
at the beginning of those six years to

1147
00:43:29,280 –> 00:43:34,440
who I left yeah to who I am now like I

1148
00:43:31,500 –> 00:43:36,060
learned so much from that job and so I

1149
00:43:34,440 –> 00:43:37,800
am obviously I’m thankful I’m so

1150
00:43:36,060 –> 00:43:40,500
grateful that I had even that experience

1151
00:43:37,800 –> 00:43:42,780
and at 21 to have that job and then to

1152
00:43:40,500 –> 00:43:46,579
work through and be there and for so

1153
00:43:42,780 –> 00:43:52,380
long and not get quiet fired

1154
00:43:46,579 –> 00:43:54,980
like why why why do you do this to me

1155
00:43:52,380 –> 00:43:57,240
um I have to I’m sorry I know

1156
00:43:54,980 –> 00:43:59,460
it landed yeah

1157
00:43:57,240 –> 00:44:01,319
I learned so much and obviously I now

1158
00:43:59,460 –> 00:44:04,020
run my own business and I’ve taken a lot

1159
00:44:01,319 –> 00:44:06,720
of how not to run a business from that

1160
00:44:04,020 –> 00:44:09,660
into that’s exactly what I did with one

1161
00:44:06,720 –> 00:44:11,640
of my tactics workplaces I was like well

1162
00:44:09,660 –> 00:44:13,800
I’m gonna do the opposite of what she

1163
00:44:11,640 –> 00:44:16,800
was doing because she was horrible

1164
00:44:13,800 –> 00:44:18,720
yeah yeah so exactly so yeah so I did

1165
00:44:16,800 –> 00:44:20,819
definitely learn a lot but it was just a

1166
00:44:18,720 –> 00:44:22,619
relief to kind of just walk out of um

1167
00:44:20,819 –> 00:44:24,540
that door on that last day and knowing

1168
00:44:22,619 –> 00:44:26,040
that I never had to go back even though

1169
00:44:24,540 –> 00:44:27,480
they still did call me like a few days

1170
00:44:26,040 –> 00:44:30,540
afterwards be like where’s this where’s

1171
00:44:27,480 –> 00:44:31,859
this I’m like and it was obviously a

1172
00:44:30,540 –> 00:44:34,380
part of me that didn’t want to pick up

1173
00:44:31,859 –> 00:44:37,040
the phone but because they don’t you

1174
00:44:34,380 –> 00:44:39,599
don’t owe them anything

1175
00:44:37,040 –> 00:44:41,700
it was six years and I think I was just

1176
00:44:39,599 –> 00:44:44,160
in that habit of picking up the phone to

1177
00:44:41,700 –> 00:44:45,960
my boss and like thinking like oh my God

1178
00:44:44,160 –> 00:44:48,180
I can’t not pick up I mean even to this

1179
00:44:45,960 –> 00:44:50,040
day I still have nightmares

1180
00:44:48,180 –> 00:44:52,740
um that he’s calling me

1181
00:44:50,040 –> 00:44:54,420
um or that I still even work there and I

1182
00:44:52,740 –> 00:44:58,400
wake up in this like fit or Sanic like

1183
00:44:54,420 –> 00:45:01,079
oh my God like and that’s and I quit in

1184
00:44:58,400 –> 00:45:03,180

2017. so it’s been quite a few years

1185
00:45:01,079 –> 00:45:04,680
yeah it’s been a few years since that

1186
00:45:03,180 –> 00:45:06,180
since I left and I still have those

1187
00:45:04,680 –> 00:45:08,339
nightmares so it’s kind of like a

1188
00:45:06,180 –> 00:45:10,440
habitual thing so I was in the habit of

1189
00:45:08,339 –> 00:45:12,300
picking on the phone so I did

1190
00:45:10,440 –> 00:45:15,680
um but then obviously the longer I had

1191
00:45:12,300 –> 00:45:15,680
I’d been gone the you know

1192
00:45:17,720 –> 00:45:25,619
it just sounds exactly like it’s PTSD

1193
00:45:22,500 –> 00:45:27,780
you know it’s like yeah

1194
00:45:25,619 –> 00:45:28,980
um yeah wow so what is it that you do

1195
00:45:27,780 –> 00:45:32,480
now

1196
00:45:28,980 –> 00:45:35,760
so I run my own health and wellness blog

1197
00:45:32,480 –> 00:45:39,000
so I am a blogger

1198
00:45:35,760 –> 00:45:40,740
um and I’m awesome yeah so I run that

1199
00:45:39,000 –> 00:45:44,460
blog I’ve been doing that now for over

1200
00:45:40,740 –> 00:45:46,740
two years and so I have put a nice

1201
00:45:44,460 –> 00:45:48,420
audience as well so I’m working on

1202
00:45:46,740 –> 00:45:50,280
building more connections with them and

1203
00:45:48,420 –> 00:45:52,380
I’m also studying to become a health

1204
00:45:50,280 –> 00:45:54,720
coach at the moment so I can basically

1205
00:45:52,380 –> 00:45:58,200
help serve them on a more deeper

1206
00:45:54,720 –> 00:46:01,319
personal level and I’m also a digital

1207
00:45:58,200 –> 00:46:03,480
Nomad as well so I’m no longer based in

1208
00:46:01,319 –> 00:46:06,060
London or the UK I never after that

1209
00:46:03,480 –> 00:46:08,099
first trip and that I took after I quit

1210
00:46:06,060 –> 00:46:11,400
that job I did go home but then I went

1211
00:46:08,099 –> 00:46:13,619
straight over to South America to study

1212
00:46:11,400 –> 00:46:15,780
um or study to teach English as a second

1213
00:46:13,619 –> 00:46:16,700
language and I was in South America for

1214
00:46:15,780 –> 00:46:21,119
a year

1215
00:46:16,700 –> 00:46:22,920
and then I came back just in time for

1216
00:46:21,119 –> 00:46:25,200
the pandemic obviously I didn’t know I

1217
00:46:22,920 –> 00:46:27,240
was coming back for the pandemic but I

1218
00:46:25,200 –> 00:46:30,119
came I went back to the UK

1219
00:46:27,240 –> 00:46:31,740
and the pandemic hit and I was with my

1220
00:46:30,119 –> 00:46:33,960
partner at the time and I was actually

1221
00:46:31,740 –> 00:46:36,660
supposed to go to Japan to then continue

1222
00:46:33,960 –> 00:46:38,880
teaching English but Japan completely

1223
00:46:36,660 –> 00:46:42,020
closed off so I couldn’t go in March

1224
00:46:38,880 –> 00:46:46,020
2020 so instead me and my partner

1225
00:46:42,020 –> 00:46:48,240
decided to build a digital agency all

1226
00:46:46,020 –> 00:46:50,460
online obviously I don’t know why I said

1227
00:46:48,240 –> 00:46:52,560
that a digital agency so building

1228
00:46:50,460 –> 00:46:53,460
websites and doing graphic design for

1229
00:46:52,560 –> 00:46:56,099
people

1230
00:46:53,460 –> 00:46:58,140
but within like and then again talking

1231
00:46:56,099 –> 00:47:00,900
about toxic workplaces the hustle

1232
00:46:58,140 –> 00:47:02,819
culture online is is real

1233
00:47:00,900 –> 00:47:04,319
um it said she so when I started my

1234
00:47:02,819 –> 00:47:06,780
business for the first time I was on

1235
00:47:04,319 –> 00:47:09,119
social media looking like for direction

1236
00:47:06,780 –> 00:47:12,000
and everyone was like you know working

1237
00:47:09,119 –> 00:47:13,319
these 18-hour days they were working all

1238
00:47:12,000 –> 00:47:15,240
the way through the week there was no

1239
00:47:13,319 –> 00:47:16,740
time for rest they were literally saying

1240
00:47:15,240 –> 00:47:18,480
if you hang out with your friends and

1241
00:47:16,740 –> 00:47:20,700
they don’t give you value then that’s

1242
00:47:18,480 –> 00:47:23,339
just pointless and you’re wasting your

1243
00:47:20,700 –> 00:47:24,780
time so then again I was influencing

1244
00:47:23,339 –> 00:47:26,400
this job and then I started to become

1245
00:47:24,780 –> 00:47:28,260
influenced with this hustle culture

1246
00:47:26,400 –> 00:47:29,700
where I was like well if I just have

1247
00:47:28,260 –> 00:47:31,079
like a day where i’m you know just

1248
00:47:29,700 –> 00:47:34,920
chilling around the house and watching

1249
00:47:31,079 –> 00:47:37,500
TV like I am lazy so then that was like

1250
00:47:34,920 –> 00:47:39,119
again I hit more burnout because I was

1251
00:47:37,500 –> 00:47:40,740
just working these crazy hours and I was

1252
00:47:39,119 –> 00:47:42,900
like well I thought the whole point of

1253
00:47:40,740 –> 00:47:44,660
building a business was the freedom

1254
00:47:42,900 –> 00:47:47,819
right so that you can do what you want

1255
00:47:44,660 –> 00:47:52,020
so but not in the beginning in the

1256
00:47:47,819 –> 00:47:54,480
beginning because I yeah I also built my

1257
00:47:52,020 –> 00:47:57,000
company and I was working more hours

1258
00:47:54,480 –> 00:48:00,060
than the first year and a half I want to

1259
00:47:57,000 –> 00:48:03,300
say yeah so many hours it’s not even a

1260
00:48:00,060 –> 00:48:06,060
joke yeah yeah so it became again yeah

1261
00:48:03,300 –> 00:48:07,680
very intense and also I realized that my

1262
00:48:06,060 –> 00:48:09,900
partner’s dream of building a digital

1263
00:48:07,680 –> 00:48:11,940
agency then wasn’t my dream

1264
00:48:09,900 –> 00:48:14,700
um I’m not a very technical person so

1265
00:48:11,940 –> 00:48:17,460
building these websites it just didn’t

1266
00:48:14,700 –> 00:48:19,319
really excite me and so then I kind of

1267
00:48:17,460 –> 00:48:21,119
did turn my focus

1268
00:48:19,319 –> 00:48:23,339
um into blogging I started blogging

1269
00:48:21,119 –> 00:48:26,099
about my experience with starting a

1270
00:48:23,339 –> 00:48:28,380
business and it kind of led into

1271
00:48:26,099 –> 00:48:30,000
productivity tips while working from

1272
00:48:28,380 –> 00:48:31,920
home because it was still the pandemic

1273
00:48:30,000 –> 00:48:33,720
and then it kind of expanded into

1274
00:48:31,920 –> 00:48:36,240
self-care

1275
00:48:33,720 –> 00:48:37,619
um how to kind of incorporate self-care

1276
00:48:36,240 –> 00:48:38,880
into your day

1277
00:48:37,619 –> 00:48:40,200
um because it doesn’t have to be a whole

1278
00:48:38,880 –> 00:48:41,520
day it could just be 10 minutes of

1279
00:48:40,200 –> 00:48:44,220
self-care a day just kind of give

1280
00:48:41,520 –> 00:48:45,960
yourself that little break and then it’s

1281
00:48:44,220 –> 00:48:47,040
kind of yeah morphed into more of a

1282
00:48:45,960 –> 00:48:50,220
wellness

1283
00:48:47,040 –> 00:48:52,380
um health and wellness rounded blog long

1284
00:48:50,220 –> 00:48:54,720
story short it is great and now

1285
00:48:52,380 –> 00:48:56,940
obviously I I no longer get the Sunday

1286
00:48:54,720 –> 00:48:58,319
scaries I wake up

1287
00:48:56,940 –> 00:49:00,420
um every morning kind of just looking

1288
00:48:58,319 –> 00:49:01,859
forward to what I do

1289
00:49:00,420 –> 00:49:04,140
um and I feel like I kind of have that

1290
00:49:01,859 –> 00:49:06,180
purpose like a lot of the time even

1291
00:49:04,140 –> 00:49:09,060
though I had a job a nine-to-five job

1292
00:49:06,180 –> 00:49:11,819
and I kind of had that you know like

1293
00:49:09,060 –> 00:49:13,560
that structure I still felt still felt

1294
00:49:11,819 –> 00:49:14,700
very lost within my life I was like well

1295
00:49:13,560 –> 00:49:18,540
is this what I’m going to be doing for

1296
00:49:14,700 –> 00:49:21,119
the next 40 years or you know because

1297
00:49:18,540 –> 00:49:23,460
this doesn’t excite me so I’m I’m happy

1298
00:49:21,119 –> 00:49:25,440
that I have found something that I’m so

1299
00:49:23,460 –> 00:49:28,500
passionate about that has kind of become

1300
00:49:25,440 –> 00:49:31,380
my purpose and yeah it’s really exciting

1301
00:49:28,500 –> 00:49:35,160
and I’m looking forward to where

1302
00:49:31,380 –> 00:49:36,960
um my brand brand my blog goes

1303
00:49:35,160 –> 00:49:39,599
um yeah I’ve got a lot a lot of it in

1304
00:49:36,960 –> 00:49:41,700
the pipeline it has been just so

1305
00:49:39,599 –> 00:49:44,940
delightful talking to you because it’s

1306
00:49:41,700 –> 00:49:47,000
so clear how your transition has kind of

1307
00:49:44,940 –> 00:49:50,460
happened you know you had this

1308
00:49:47,000 –> 00:49:52,319
incredibly like awesome opportunity to

1309
00:49:50,460 –> 00:49:54,060
work in an industry that at the time you

1310
00:49:52,319 –> 00:49:56,700
thought was going to be amazing it was

1311
00:49:54,060 –> 00:49:58,440
not amazing you learned really good

1312
00:49:56,700 –> 00:50:00,119
lessons from that and now you can

1313
00:49:58,440 –> 00:50:03,180
identify things going forward and now

1314
00:50:00,119 –> 00:50:06,780
you’ve kind of carved out your own

1315
00:50:03,180 –> 00:50:09,119
Avenue and your own Direction which

1316
00:50:06,780 –> 00:50:11,220
personally I hope serves you for the

1317
00:50:09,119 –> 00:50:13,380
rest of Eternity really well yeah no

1318
00:50:11,220 –> 00:50:14,940
it’s it’s been really great talking to

1319
00:50:13,380 –> 00:50:16,740
you both as well and just kind of

1320
00:50:14,940 –> 00:50:19,440
getting like a lot off my chest as well

1321
00:50:16,740 –> 00:50:21,780
because I think a lot of that like you

1322
00:50:19,440 –> 00:50:24,180
said PTSD I think there’s still so much

1323
00:50:21,780 –> 00:50:26,880
pumped up like anger in there still like

1324
00:50:24,180 –> 00:50:28,800
how I dealt with that for so long and

1325
00:50:26,880 –> 00:50:31,020
didn’t do anything about it and

1326
00:50:28,800 –> 00:50:32,819
obviously if I were to go back I would

1327
00:50:31,020 –> 00:50:34,980
do everything different everything

1328
00:50:32,819 –> 00:50:37,920
differently because I think toxic

1329
00:50:34,980 –> 00:50:41,400
workplaces maybe are inevitable I know

1330
00:50:37,920 –> 00:50:43,800
that sounds a bit um no I think they’re

1331
00:50:41,400 –> 00:50:45,540
abundance so I feel like everyone’s

1332
00:50:43,800 –> 00:50:48,720
gonna walk into one at some point in

1333
00:50:45,540 –> 00:50:50,579
their life on knowing exactly yeah and I

1334
00:50:48,720 –> 00:50:52,559
think like even if company does kind of

1335
00:50:50,579 –> 00:50:54,599
focus on health and well-being I think

1336
00:50:52,559 –> 00:50:56,720
things can still turn sour in a way

1337
00:50:54,599 –> 00:50:58,680
because everyone’s

1338
00:50:56,720 –> 00:51:01,440
everyone’s definition of Health and

1339
00:50:58,680 –> 00:51:02,880
Wellness is going to be different so I

1340
00:51:01,440 –> 00:51:04,440
think even you know even that can be

1341
00:51:02,880 –> 00:51:06,540
toxic like especially if you work it

1342
00:51:04,440 –> 00:51:09,180
though say goop or something and they

1343
00:51:06,540 –> 00:51:11,280
get you to do these uh do like these

1344
00:51:09,180 –> 00:51:12,839
juice diets all the time like that is

1345
00:51:11,280 –> 00:51:15,720
toxic right and that’s a health and

1346
00:51:12,839 –> 00:51:19,079
wellness company so I think

1347
00:51:15,720 –> 00:51:21,000
it’s yeah I think it’s inevitable and

1348
00:51:19,079 –> 00:51:22,859
it’s about just figuring out what

1349
00:51:21,000 –> 00:51:25,440
Optimum Health and Wellness looks like

1350
00:51:22,859 –> 00:51:28,380
for you and kind of just focusing on

1351
00:51:25,440 –> 00:51:30,720
that and managing stress in in a

1352
00:51:28,380 –> 00:51:33,480
healthier way yeah of course I was also

1353
00:51:30,720 –> 00:51:35,480
going to say I have a few tips as well

1354
00:51:33,480 –> 00:51:35,480
um

1355
00:51:36,900 –> 00:51:41,460
yeah like just a few healthy tips I

1356
00:51:39,059 –> 00:51:43,619
think for handling stress because back

1357
00:51:41,460 –> 00:51:45,599
you know like I said when I was in my

1358
00:51:43,619 –> 00:51:48,000
toxic workplace I didn’t really handle

1359
00:51:45,599 –> 00:51:50,579
it in a very healthy way I did drink a

1360
00:51:48,000 –> 00:51:52,859
lot I did emotionally eat and I did

1361
00:51:50,579 –> 00:51:55,260
party and they kind of you know

1362
00:51:52,859 –> 00:51:57,420
everything kind of just accumulated to

1363
00:51:55,260 –> 00:51:59,400
my downfall my doubt even though yeah

1364
00:51:57,420 –> 00:52:01,740
not that much doubtful

1365
00:51:59,400 –> 00:52:03,960
um so if I were to go back obviously I

1366
00:52:01,740 –> 00:52:06,540
would just do things more in a healthy

1367
00:52:03,960 –> 00:52:09,180
way so I guess my number one tip is to

1368
00:52:06,540 –> 00:52:11,040
build a morning routine that works for

1369
00:52:09,180 –> 00:52:13,440
you I know it’s kind of like a buzzword

1370
00:52:11,040 –> 00:52:14,520
at the minute on social media but it

1371
00:52:13,440 –> 00:52:16,680
doesn’t obviously have to look like

1372
00:52:14,520 –> 00:52:18,900
waking up at 5am and doing like a whole

1373
00:52:16,680 –> 00:52:20,960
gym routine workout and then drinking

1374
00:52:18,900 –> 00:52:23,400
your green juice

1375
00:52:20,960 –> 00:52:25,520
skincare routine

1376
00:52:23,400 –> 00:52:25,520
um

1377
00:52:29,790 –> 00:52:35,940
[Music]

1378
00:52:32,660 –> 00:52:37,740
then I go work out like for three hours

1379
00:52:35,940 –> 00:52:41,000
then I come back and pray more than I

1380
00:52:37,740 –> 00:52:41,000
work out again for two hours

1381
00:52:41,059 –> 00:52:44,460
yeah it sounds like a full-time job in

1382
00:52:43,440 –> 00:52:45,359
itself

1383
00:52:44,460 –> 00:52:47,460
yeah

1384
00:52:45,359 –> 00:52:49,020
um so I mean this could just be like you

1385
00:52:47,460 –> 00:52:51,119
know wake up half an hour early and just

1386
00:52:49,020 –> 00:52:53,280
do something that you enjoy that brings

1387
00:52:51,119 –> 00:52:55,319
you Joy um as well so it could be

1388
00:52:53,280 –> 00:52:57,240
reading kind of just getting outside for

1389
00:52:55,319 –> 00:52:59,160
some fresh air or drinking a cup of

1390
00:52:57,240 –> 00:53:01,980
coffee outside kind of just having like

1391
00:52:59,160 –> 00:53:03,660
a my mindful moment for yourself because

1392
00:53:01,980 –> 00:53:06,000
when I was working I definitely didn’t

1393
00:53:03,660 –> 00:53:08,339
have a morning routine I used to wake up

1394
00:53:06,000 –> 00:53:11,339
with just like no time to spare I would

1395
00:53:08,339 –> 00:53:13,440
get up Rush get ready and then rush to

1396
00:53:11,339 –> 00:53:15,420
the tube to get to work and it was

1397
00:53:13,440 –> 00:53:17,940
always delayed so I’d literally be late

1398
00:53:15,420 –> 00:53:20,099
all the time and by the time I got to my

1399
00:53:17,940 –> 00:53:22,559
desk I had to skip breakfast and I was

1400
00:53:20,099 –> 00:53:24,180
already groggy myself

1401
00:53:22,559 –> 00:53:26,520
um so that was my toxic trait as well

1402
00:53:24,180 –> 00:53:30,180
just kind of not leaving any time for

1403
00:53:26,520 –> 00:53:31,920
myself in the morning so a yeah morning

1404
00:53:30,180 –> 00:53:34,140
routine is just a really nice way to

1405
00:53:31,920 –> 00:53:37,440
kind of de-stress you before the day is

1406
00:53:34,140 –> 00:53:40,319
even dark and began so you can

1407
00:53:37,440 –> 00:53:43,859
um navigate it more mindfully

1408
00:53:40,319 –> 00:53:45,300
um and also yeah on your days off do

1409
00:53:43,859 –> 00:53:47,520
something more meaning full and

1410
00:53:45,300 –> 00:53:49,740
worthwhile with your down time so

1411
00:53:47,520 –> 00:53:51,720
instead of wasting the day maybe in bed

1412
00:53:49,740 –> 00:53:54,300
dreading to go back into work after the

1413
00:53:51,720 –> 00:53:56,099
weekend and watching TV mindlessly kind

1414
00:53:54,300 –> 00:53:58,319
of learn a new skill or a hobby

1415
00:53:56,099 –> 00:54:00,720
something that kind of makes you look

1416
00:53:58,319 –> 00:54:03,000
forward to waking up in a way like oh

1417
00:54:00,720 –> 00:54:05,400
I’m gonna do this today

1418
00:54:03,000 –> 00:54:06,900
um rather than or I’ve you know I’ve got

1419
00:54:05,400 –> 00:54:11,160
nothing to do today so I’m just going to

1420
00:54:06,900 –> 00:54:13,099
wallow in bed and think about work so

1421
00:54:11,160 –> 00:54:16,200
that’s yeah

1422
00:54:13,099 –> 00:54:19,440
but yes I also agree that doing

1423
00:54:16,200 –> 00:54:22,500
meaningful things is a way to recharge

1424
00:54:19,440 –> 00:54:24,359
your batteries exactly yeah which is all

1425
00:54:22,500 –> 00:54:27,059
resting away like even you know getting

1426
00:54:24,359 –> 00:54:29,160
to if you can at least seven hours of

1427
00:54:27,059 –> 00:54:31,440
sleep a night I know it’s not always you

1428
00:54:29,160 –> 00:54:32,400
know easy to get that but it is kind of

1429
00:54:31,440 –> 00:54:35,640
just

1430
00:54:32,400 –> 00:54:37,260
for me now um with my business I mean

1431
00:54:35,640 –> 00:54:39,180
even back then I should have done it but

1432
00:54:37,260 –> 00:54:41,339
it’s about scheduling in your non-work

1433
00:54:39,180 –> 00:54:43,319
priorities first before you scheduling

1434
00:54:41,339 –> 00:54:45,300
your work priorities because when you

1435
00:54:43,319 –> 00:54:47,280
are busy and you do have a jam-packed

1436
00:54:45,300 –> 00:54:49,559
schedule your self-care and your rest

1437
00:54:47,280 –> 00:54:51,059
and like prioritizing yourself is the

1438
00:54:49,559 –> 00:54:52,980
first thing to like get bugged down the

1439
00:54:51,059 –> 00:54:54,420
end of the list right because for some

1440
00:54:52,980 –> 00:54:56,880
reason we still don’t put ourselves

1441
00:54:54,420 –> 00:54:58,040
first so please I don’t even know who

1442
00:54:56,880 –> 00:55:01,160
that is

1443
00:54:58,040 –> 00:55:04,319
what’s even happening please please

1444
00:55:01,160 –> 00:55:06,300
so I think with a lot of what I talk

1445
00:55:04,319 –> 00:55:09,000
about it’s like it doesn’t have to be a

1446
00:55:06,300 –> 00:55:10,500
whole day dedicated to self-care it can

1447
00:55:09,000 –> 00:55:12,420
literally just be like a five quick

1448
00:55:10,500 –> 00:55:13,980
three five minute break to kind of

1449
00:55:12,420 –> 00:55:15,599
recharge

1450
00:55:13,980 –> 00:55:16,859
um in a way like you know just have like

1451
00:55:15,599 –> 00:55:19,020
a moment yourself or you’re just doing

1452
00:55:16,859 –> 00:55:20,579
absolutely nothing my favorite thing at

1453
00:55:19,020 –> 00:55:23,099
the minute is people people watching

1454
00:55:20,579 –> 00:55:25,619
because I find people extremely

1455
00:55:23,099 –> 00:55:27,839
fascinating especially also in Thailand

1456
00:55:25,619 –> 00:55:30,300
people watching in Thailand is high

1457
00:55:27,839 –> 00:55:32,040
quality amazing it’s so good because

1458
00:55:30,300 –> 00:55:35,339
it’s like a different culture and it’s

1459
00:55:32,040 –> 00:55:38,040
just like but thank you so much please

1460
00:55:35,339 –> 00:55:40,619
um tell everyone where they can find you

1461
00:55:38,040 –> 00:55:42,960
and we’ll put it in the show notes and

1462
00:55:40,619 –> 00:55:45,420
we’ll link it and if you are okay with

1463
00:55:42,960 –> 00:55:48,180
it if you have IG we’ll connect you on

1464
00:55:45,420 –> 00:55:50,220
IG and so for more realistic bonus tips

1465
00:55:48,180 –> 00:55:52,440
and self-care ideas you can find me on

1466
00:55:50,220 –> 00:55:55,559
Instagram Pinterest and Tick Tock all

1467
00:55:52,440 –> 00:55:57,240
under at notes by Thalia for an insight

1468
00:55:55,559 –> 00:55:59,220
into my own Wellness journey and

1469
00:55:57,240 –> 00:56:02,640
everything in between head over to my

1470
00:55:59,220 –> 00:56:04,559
blog notesbythalia.com and for a moment

1471
00:56:02,640 –> 00:56:06,180
of calm straight to your inbox every

1472
00:56:04,559 –> 00:56:07,980
Wednesday you can sign up for my

1473
00:56:06,180 –> 00:56:11,040
newsletter at notes by thalia.com

1474
00:56:07,980 –> 00:56:13,440
forward slash subscribe

1475
00:56:11,040 –> 00:56:15,180
thank you for joining us today if you

1476
00:56:13,440 –> 00:56:17,760
would like to share your story we would

1477
00:56:15,180 –> 00:56:19,440
love to hear from you also leaving a

1478
00:56:17,760 –> 00:56:21,119
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1479
00:56:19,440 –> 00:56:23,400
because it shows us there’s an interest

1480
00:56:21,119 –> 00:56:24,900
in this topic for those of our listeners

1481
00:56:23,400 –> 00:56:27,300
who do better with reading we have

1482
00:56:24,900 –> 00:56:31,520
closed caption available on YouTube see

1483
00:56:27,300 –> 00:56:31,520
you next week same time and same place