S1E15: Devil Wears Prada USA – Workplace toxicity in the fashion industry with Cardsy B ​

S1E15: Devil Wears Prada USA – Workplace toxicity in the fashion industry with @cardsyb6844 ​

In this video, Gina and Nicola sit down with the talented Cardsy B to discuss her journey towards finding her true purpose. Cardsy B shares that she started her career in the fashion industry and was a high-level executive for various global brands.

She even launched her own successful lingerie line. Despite these accomplishments, Cardsy realized that she was deeply disconnected from her true self and purpose. She admits to chasing validation and external rewards to fill the void she felt inside. Cardsy’s search for meaning led her to tarot reading, which has become her passion and career.

Through her readings, she helps people connect with their inner selves and find fulfillment in life. Join us in this inspiring conversation with Cardsy B, as she shares her journey towards a fulfilled life. Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe to our channel for more inspiring content! You can find Cardsy B here:

• https://www.cardsyb.com/about
• https://www.cardsyb.com/podcast
• https://www.instagram.com/cardsyb/

Oh yeah.Speaker 2: 53:32

All these different shirts. No, that was the other Brian. That was T-shirt Brian Oh.Speaker 1: 53:37

T-shirt Brian. Oh my God, yeah, brian with the insurgents was very funny.Speaker 2: 53:41

Yeah, um, we had the lady with four million jobs. Do you remember that one Mm? hmm, i know Where she had like what was it Like? 47.Speaker 1: 53:54

Like her first. Like her first line out of the box was like I’ve had 46 jobs in the past 30 years and we’re like what.Speaker 2: 54:05

We’ve got Amy, who talks to us about toxic positivity, which is pretty cool, and then we had Stu, who was our most recent recording, yeah, talking about leadership, which I’m pretty bloody excited about.Speaker 1: 54:20

And now so we’ll be doing some more interviews, but also sprinkling in some of the research episodes.Speaker 2: 54:25

Yeah, and then we’ll be doing some research episodes is going to like is our next kind of step right? That’s our evolution.Speaker 1: 54:33

And we’ll see what happens. We’ll see what you guys like more And if you have any comments, thoughts, reactions, just reach out to us.Speaker 2: 54:39

Yeah, We really appreciate everybody’s comments. Yeah, We’ve had. I just, I just get so excited when someone comments, So if you could comment like like subscribe, share follow all those good things. Come join us on LinkedIn. Come join us on.Speaker 3: 54:55

Instagram, yeah, yeah Find us a good place.Speaker 4: 54:57

We’d be happy to have you.Speaker 2: 54:59

And we’ll see you in season two. Couple weeks, yeah, yeah, a couple weeks. Thank you for joining us today. If you would like to share your story, we would love to hear from you.Speaker 1: 55:10

Also, leaving a review helps us create more content because it shows us there’s an interest in this topic.Speaker 2: 55:16

For those of our listeners who do better with reading, we have closed caption available on YouTube.Speaker 1: 55:20

See you next week, same time and same place.

Watch the episode

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this podcast may contain adult themes

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this podcast is for entertainment

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purposes only the views and opinions in

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this podcast are expressly our own when

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I get into the workplace I like to [ __ ]

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[ __ ] up

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honestly every time I try to do

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something fun or exciting you make it

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not that way hey are you tired of toxic

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workplaces and Nativity that comes with

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them we hear you and we’re here to shake

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things up welcome to let’s break up

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toxic workplace Stories the podcast

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that’s all about breaking up with the

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workplace toxicity I’m Nicola and I’m

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here with my co-host Gina together we’re

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going to explore real life experiences

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of workplace toxicity and offer a sense

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of encouragement and unity that’s right

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we’re tackling the tough topic of

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negativity in the workplace so join us

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each week as we explore the various

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forms of toxicity in the workplace we’ll

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be interviewing guests to share their

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experiences and offer practical

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solutions for dealing with workplace

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toxicity let’s break up is quickly

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becoming the go-to source for anyone

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looking to share and then ditch the

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drama and help you break up with those

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toxic workplaces thanks for tuning in

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and don’t forget to like subscribe and

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tell all your friends in this week’s

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episode I think for this episode we’re

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gonna have a really interesting episode

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because I think we should dub this

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episode showed um The Devil Wears Prada

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New York correct or we could go with

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like the foot fish

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[Laughter]

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Craigslist ads

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to like scouring Craigslist for money

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honestly I was right there with her I

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did this morning I probably would have

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done the same thing look let’s not judge

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do you have Craigslist Craigslist in New

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Zealand no like something similar like

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it’s it’s similar okay but we don’t have

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as many crazy people as you do no per

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capita no you definitely don’t for sure

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no so like the chances of like the

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chances of you finding a great gig where

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you’re squishing grapes with your feet

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for a foot fetish guy the chances of

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that happening are highly unlikely so

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today we have a real big tree we have oh

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a famous person a famous she’s famous oh

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she’s for sure famous

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she’s on a book tour right now she reads

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tarot for multiple famous people like

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real people like real people famous

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um he’s got like a really big Instagram

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following as well like she’s got stalker

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Vibes like people will stalk her because

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she’s so cool she said like she had some

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light stockings

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um yeah no I’m pretty excited I think

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this is going to be a really good

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episode

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um

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and I think the reason it’s going to be

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a good episode is because she just

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brings her whole of self and like all of

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her energy with her to the experience

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and so for me it’s special because even

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on the 15-minute interview like before

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we booked her in she and I just like got

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each other I was like I know exactly

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what you’re talking about like it was

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just because we both come from similar

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backgrounds working in Manhattan in the

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fashion industry and like the two early

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2000s you know to Mid to like I don’t

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know 2013-ish

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um for her

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um I I’m not in the fashion industry per

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se I’m more in the beauty and luxury

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industry

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um right now but it’s all intertwined

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like it’s all intertwined because you

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need to know the current trends in

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fashion you know so and so forth but

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anyway

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um

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so she reads tarot and I think she’s

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gonna do a couple readings for us okay

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that’s gonna be fun I don’t know how we

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like I don’t know how we deliver that to

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our audience because like what if she

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tells us that we’re gonna die in like

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two minutes no then we’ll be like great

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see you later in heaven or hell yeah

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whatever you believe in we’ll see you

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there because obviously you know we

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don’t want to share too many personal

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details or she comes up with some

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what are you going to ask her about I I

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don’t know I think I need to reflect on

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my personal life at the minute

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um I think that’s the I I think that’s

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the weak Link at the minute okay I would

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I would I just I don’t know if it’s a

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weak link for you I think it’s

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unfulfilled

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well that’s that’s that’s that’s that’s

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a true story okay I think I’m gonna ask

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her about

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my business okay okay

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because you know I’ve talked about it

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before that we were doing super good and

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then covet hit and it affected us in a

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very negative way

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um to a point where I didn’t even think

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we were going to be able to continue on

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thankfully we are and things are

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starting to look up but I I just want to

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know like when that feeling of I’m

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afraid to open my emails and I’m afraid

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to look at our bank account like we’ll

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be over where because that’s when where

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we were before kovid yeah I never had to

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worry about any of that it was just like

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just going smoothly everything was just

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lined up it was amazing

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um and I’d like to kind of get back

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there so I’m going to ask about that and

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I might ask her about my partner

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that’ll be curious

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yeah so those were the two things I

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wanted to ask

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um I don’t want to I don’t want to like

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overreach but we should also we probably

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should ask about our podcast but that

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will be time if we have time

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yeah I feel like if if not we should do

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a follow-up with that

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yeah we should invite her we should

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invite her for like you know in our

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reflection episode we should invite her

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to be part of the reflection episode for

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season two

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ooh that would be cool well like a

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little Cameo appearance and I live

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pretty appearance we have she and I live

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fairly close to one another

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um so I’m hoping we both get our shits

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together and we actually can meet in

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real life

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um because I think that would be really

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cool I need photos yeah photos or it

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didn’t happen

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and maybe maybe I’ll have her do a

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reading of

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um

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for the podcast

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yeah it films the whole thing because

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you can’t you can’t have her do a

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reading for the podcast and then not

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film it no I would film it I would film

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it

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I would film it so ciao for sure okay

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um all right so let’s get straight into

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this episode I’m pretty excited that

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it’s gonna be awesome me too also

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trigger warning

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um conversations about suicide also

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trigger warning alcohol and drug abuse

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oh good one also a trigger warning for

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foot fetish

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oh yeah if anything about a foot fetish

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or masturbation is a trigger for you

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those are sprinkled in here too

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sprinkles sprinkled around Community

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sprinkle yeah like like a high hair did

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with Rayna just sprinkling it it’s an

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even distribution okay so despite my

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tardiness so glad you could make it

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I know to my own I’m so glad you could

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make it I’m so excited that you’re on

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the podcast today hey I’m Rebecca simzak

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AKA cardzie B the author of the Saturn

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Diaries and Tarot reader and podcaster

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and I’m so excited to be on the podcast

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today okay so how did you get that how

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did you get that nickname so yeah you

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got this well okay so I actually from my

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ex-wife

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um came up with it because everyone used

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to call me Miss Cleo and like she was

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like okay that’s already taken and she

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just jokingly was like cards EB and then

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it stuck and when I started a separate

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Instagram because I was still

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freelancing in fashion as I was building

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this I was like building myself a bridge

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and I was like I don’t want the fashion

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people to see this so I had like my

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personal Instagram and I just created an

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undercard ZB like not at all tied to my

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full name

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um and then people then it stuck and

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people like called me cards because yeah

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it’s like a play on cardi B so totally I

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love it totally yeah I love it it took

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me a minute to figure that out and then

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when I had that moment I was like oh my

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God Nicola card ZB because she does

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Tarot

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and I was already like

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she you were like that makes so much

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sense yes because like it kind of like

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it’s I think because we just saw your

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name and we didn’t know what you were

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doing we were like right is this

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person’s name card CD yeah and once we

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like had your vetting and we were like

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oh okay you do tarot like it clicked I

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was like oh I got it I had somebody

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literally come to my book launch in

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Miami that like got it for the first was

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like oh cause like all the cards and I

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was like all the cards indeed

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exactly I love it yes can you can you

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tell us

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um briefly a little bit about your

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background in terms of the toxic

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workplaces you’re going to be talking

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about today

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yeah so I feel like I mean I know we’re

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all biased where we come from but I know

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you’re going to agree with me on this

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one Gina I feel like I come from the

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most toxic industry which is the fashion

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industry so that was where I was for the

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majority of my Adult Career I had

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majored in fashion design in college and

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um by the time I graduated I had already

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worked in Nike’s design Department I

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ended up um designing for Donna Karen I

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was the creative director of Playboy

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over their license product so kind of

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anything with the Robin Hood logo works

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for them and a lot of other smaller

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companies that no one would know the

255
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name of um in along the way as well so a

256
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lot of the toxicity that I experienced

257
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was very tied to that to that industry

258
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that industry especially in New York

259
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City it’s very competitive very

260
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fast-paced

261
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um everyone’s kind of like trying to cut

262
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everyone else off at the knees like jobs

263
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are highly sought after so it’s like the

264
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perfect mix to make something completely

265
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toxic why don’t you tell us your first

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red flag with whatever company was toxic

267
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to you first yeah you know I have to say

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my my most negative experiences were

269
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often with um the smaller companies

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which like I won’t name that doesn’t

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surprise me at all the bigger the

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company like the more fluidity I feel

273
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like there is yeah whereas when it’s

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small it’s like easier to micromanage

275
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yes yeah a hundred percent a hundred

276
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percent so yeah so I would say like the

277
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smaller companies that I was at I I had

278
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the most negative experiences because

279
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there was an unhealthy culture of not

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having proper HR not having

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um proper like care for the culture of

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the the humans in the in the work

283
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environment it was all just about like

284
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pumping out numbers so at this small

285
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um uh instruments company that I worked

286
00:11:27,360 –> 00:11:34,800
for they had like the assistant to the

287
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head of the the vice president of the

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department taking attendance every day

289
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and if you were literally five minutes

290
00:11:39,240 –> 00:11:42,120
late you know it’s New York the subway

291
00:11:40,440 –> 00:11:43,980
runs late you would go to demerit and

292
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then after a certain amount of demerits

293
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you lost money off of your your paycheck

294
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and so you can get it I’m pretty sure it

295
00:11:49,380 –> 00:11:55,860
is you know like going back I think it

296
00:11:52,320 –> 00:12:00,079
is illegal I I love you wait so were you

297
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being paid hourly no This was um like uh

298
00:12:00,079 –> 00:12:04,680
it was a salary so you got a certain

299
00:12:02,640 –> 00:12:06,060
amount of demerits I’m gonna say five I

300
00:12:04,680 –> 00:12:07,500
don’t remember but like you get a

301
00:12:06,060 –> 00:12:09,240
certain amount and then you’re docked as

302
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a result of that it was like an a

303
00:12:09,240 –> 00:12:14,720
strange almost like public school system

304
00:12:11,300 –> 00:12:17,899
are we at school yeah yeah

305
00:12:14,720 –> 00:12:22,320
definitely not legal if you’re salaried

306
00:12:17,899 –> 00:12:24,300
yeah so that I can’t imagine that it is

307
00:12:22,320 –> 00:12:26,040
unless it was like written into your

308
00:12:24,300 –> 00:12:28,440
contract like your employment contract

309
00:12:26,040 –> 00:12:30,720
really tiny and you missed it yeah well

310
00:12:28,440 –> 00:12:33,660
that was red flag that was just red flag

311
00:12:30,720 –> 00:12:35,820
number one there was kind of like um a

312
00:12:33,660 –> 00:12:37,500
dress code to some degree which is so

313
00:12:35,820 –> 00:12:39,240
odd to me in the fashion industry that

314
00:12:37,500 –> 00:12:41,100
was also enforced by the demerit system

315
00:12:39,240 –> 00:12:42,300
and there was an unspoken rule of you

316
00:12:41,100 –> 00:12:43,380
weren’t supposed to I don’t know if

317
00:12:42,300 –> 00:12:44,940
you’ve ever worked anywhere like this

318
00:12:43,380 –> 00:12:46,800
Gina but like you weren’t supposed to

319
00:12:44,940 –> 00:12:48,480
have lunch with co-workers it was like

320
00:12:46,800 –> 00:12:50,279
kind of like oh you’re just you weren’t

321
00:12:48,480 –> 00:12:51,720
so you’re you’re supposed to like go on

322
00:12:50,279 –> 00:12:52,920
your own and this none of this was

323
00:12:51,720 –> 00:12:54,779
written it was just like you kind of

324
00:12:52,920 –> 00:12:56,399
learned it it’s like oh I wanted to

325
00:12:54,779 –> 00:12:58,680
learn it by being there

326
00:12:56,399 –> 00:13:00,060
um yeah so like the the women that I was

327
00:12:58,680 –> 00:13:01,320
friendly with in my department they

328
00:13:00,060 –> 00:13:03,480
would be like oh meet me downstairs or

329
00:13:01,320 –> 00:13:05,880
meet me on the corner of like 39th

330
00:13:03,480 –> 00:13:08,459
Street kind of day off like it was so

331
00:13:05,880 –> 00:13:09,959
odd yeah the only thing that I

332
00:13:08,459 –> 00:13:12,300
experienced that was even remotely like

333
00:13:09,959 –> 00:13:14,279
this was I was working for

334
00:13:12,300 –> 00:13:17,040
um an Indian company and they were

335
00:13:14,279 –> 00:13:19,260
Gujarati and so they’re vegetarian and

336
00:13:17,040 –> 00:13:21,180
so the only thing that they requested is

337
00:13:19,260 –> 00:13:24,839
if you’re gonna eat lunch in the office

338
00:13:21,180 –> 00:13:26,820
it has to be vegetarian which yeah I

339
00:13:24,839 –> 00:13:28,860
thought was somewhat reasonable it was a

340
00:13:26,820 –> 00:13:30,660
little annoying to me and I would forget

341
00:13:28,860 –> 00:13:34,200
one or two times and and I just never

342
00:13:30,660 –> 00:13:37,620
said anything but but other than that I

343
00:13:34,200 –> 00:13:39,420
never experienced not to speak to my

344
00:13:37,620 –> 00:13:42,060
co-workers like I would often go out to

345
00:13:39,420 –> 00:13:43,380
lunch with my co-workers yeah no this

346
00:13:42,060 –> 00:13:45,540
was like I thought you brought the

347
00:13:43,380 –> 00:13:48,019
solidarity in a should show her like

348
00:13:45,540 –> 00:13:50,459
isn’t that you yeah when you’re creating

349
00:13:48,019 –> 00:13:52,920
relationships and networks they don’t

350
00:13:50,459 –> 00:13:54,540
want that yes exactly you’re exactly

351
00:13:52,920 –> 00:13:56,160
creating solidarity and like kind of

352
00:13:54,540 –> 00:13:57,720
that that does create kind of like

353
00:13:56,160 –> 00:13:59,339
camaraderie when there are challenges

354
00:13:57,720 –> 00:14:01,560
but they it was almost they wanted that

355
00:13:59,339 –> 00:14:04,079
isolation so no one they did these very

356
00:14:01,560 –> 00:14:05,700
extreme rules yeah because they didn’t

357
00:14:04,079 –> 00:14:07,980
want anyone to kind of like come

358
00:14:05,700 –> 00:14:10,260
together as a group and rise up against

359
00:14:07,980 –> 00:14:13,139
this Ridiculousness that they’re

360
00:14:10,260 –> 00:14:15,360
perpetrating yes

361
00:14:13,139 –> 00:14:17,880
but like you know one of the things one

362
00:14:15,360 –> 00:14:19,139
of the things I love that Gina said and

363
00:14:17,880 –> 00:14:20,940
um one of the I think it might have been

364
00:14:19,139 –> 00:14:22,920
the first episode that I listened to of

365
00:14:20,940 –> 00:14:24,660
you guys and you said like I’m the first

366
00:14:22,920 –> 00:14:26,579
person to take ownership of like am I

367
00:14:24,660 –> 00:14:28,380
attracting this and I will say that I

368
00:14:26,579 –> 00:14:31,019
was at a very low point in my life I had

369
00:14:28,380 –> 00:14:33,899
lost my big Global vice president job at

370
00:14:31,019 –> 00:14:35,820
Playboy I was um really struggling in

371
00:14:33,899 –> 00:14:37,980
depression and addiction like a big part

372
00:14:35,820 –> 00:14:39,600
of like the journey that I went through

373
00:14:37,980 –> 00:14:41,699
um I was at the low part when I took

374
00:14:39,600 –> 00:14:44,160
that job and I was kind of like this is

375
00:14:41,699 –> 00:14:45,779
fine like I knew it I’m like this is a

376
00:14:44,160 –> 00:14:47,699
company I do not want to work for this

377
00:14:45,779 –> 00:14:49,980
is way less than I’m worth salary wise

378
00:14:47,699 –> 00:14:52,139
but like I have to this is fine and I

379
00:14:49,980 –> 00:14:54,240
think that because of the like the level

380
00:14:52,139 –> 00:14:56,639
I was existing at and like the vibration

381
00:14:54,240 –> 00:14:58,920
of energy I was at 100 it makes sense

382
00:14:56,639 –> 00:15:00,420
but it doesn’t make it okay no and I

383
00:14:58,920 –> 00:15:02,339
think there were people that were in

384
00:15:00,420 –> 00:15:03,480
that system for years and I would I

385
00:15:02,339 –> 00:15:05,100
would kind of be the one that would like

386
00:15:03,480 –> 00:15:06,779
meet on 39th Street on the corner and be

387
00:15:05,100 –> 00:15:08,519
like hey do you think it’s legal that

388
00:15:06,779 –> 00:15:09,959
they take demerits and they’re like I

389
00:15:08,519 –> 00:15:11,519
mean I don’t know but like this is I

390
00:15:09,959 –> 00:15:14,699
gotta be here and it was very much that

391
00:15:11,519 –> 00:15:16,920
environment and I think also post 2008

392
00:15:14,699 –> 00:15:18,660
in the fashion industry was that like

393
00:15:16,920 –> 00:15:20,399
right after that recession where

394
00:15:18,660 –> 00:15:22,079
everyone was just like oh you gotta like

395
00:15:20,399 –> 00:15:24,180
grateful to have a job great and yeah

396
00:15:22,079 –> 00:15:26,100
cut through industry as it always was

397
00:15:24,180 –> 00:15:27,660
more than ever you were just like I got

398
00:15:26,100 –> 00:15:29,279
a seat in musical chairs and I’m not

399
00:15:27,660 –> 00:15:32,220
freaking moving so I’m not gonna watch

400
00:15:29,279 –> 00:15:34,620
them you know no it’s true I mean and

401
00:15:32,220 –> 00:15:35,950
did did you lose your job at Playboy

402
00:15:34,620 –> 00:15:37,260
because of the recession

403
00:15:35,950 –> 00:15:39,180
[Music]

404
00:15:37,260 –> 00:15:40,740
um well I would say like to some degree

405
00:15:39,180 –> 00:15:42,660
because they were downsizing their

406
00:15:40,740 –> 00:15:44,519
headquarters so I had been originally

407
00:15:42,660 –> 00:15:46,800
hired in New York City then I was

408
00:15:44,519 –> 00:15:49,860
working remote and they were um they had

409
00:15:46,800 –> 00:15:52,260
gotten away they had like cleared it out

410
00:15:49,860 –> 00:15:53,940
and closed New York they had me move to

411
00:15:52,260 –> 00:15:55,620
Chicago for six months and build a team

412
00:15:53,940 –> 00:15:57,180
there which I did return to New York and

413
00:15:55,620 –> 00:15:58,680
said I can stay on with you but I need

414
00:15:57,180 –> 00:16:00,540
to be remote because my family was all

415
00:15:58,680 –> 00:16:02,940
in the Northeast and I was I was married

416
00:16:00,540 –> 00:16:04,320
at the time and um my spouse and uh she

417
00:16:02,940 –> 00:16:07,079
was in the Northeast and her job was

418
00:16:04,320 –> 00:16:08,940
there so uh moved back and then they

419
00:16:07,079 –> 00:16:11,519
said well you have to at this point I

420
00:16:08,940 –> 00:16:14,100
think it was 2013. everybody’s moving to

421
00:16:11,519 –> 00:16:16,380
Beverly Hills or today is your last day

422
00:16:14,100 –> 00:16:18,540
so it was basically like they knew I was

423
00:16:16,380 –> 00:16:20,639
going to say no because I had made that

424
00:16:18,540 –> 00:16:22,620
clear of like in the past

425
00:16:20,639 –> 00:16:24,959
um so kind of got pushed out as a result

426
00:16:22,620 –> 00:16:27,720
of downsizing in the company

427
00:16:24,959 –> 00:16:29,880
um and then uh like a then after that

428
00:16:27,720 –> 00:16:31,620
shortly after that news was received my

429
00:16:29,880 –> 00:16:33,300
ex-wife asked for a divorce I was the

430
00:16:31,620 –> 00:16:34,740
one who was kind of like making the

431
00:16:33,300 –> 00:16:37,980
money in that relationship at that point

432
00:16:34,740 –> 00:16:39,899
in time I went through a series of like

433
00:16:37,980 –> 00:16:41,279
expenses in that process my best friend

434
00:16:39,899 –> 00:16:44,399
passed away with HIV related

435
00:16:41,279 –> 00:16:46,139
complications and then I started my own

436
00:16:44,399 –> 00:16:48,540
laundry line for a bit partnered with a

437
00:16:46,139 –> 00:16:50,279
not so great company lost all of my

438
00:16:48,540 –> 00:16:52,259
savings and that and went from having

439
00:16:50,279 –> 00:16:55,620
this like oh splashy Carrie Bradshaw

440
00:16:52,259 –> 00:16:58,199
like life in New York to living in a 300

441
00:16:55,620 –> 00:17:00,959
square foot apartment with like uh Rat

442
00:16:58,199 –> 00:17:02,339
holes cockroaches and a gas leak and so

443
00:17:00,959 –> 00:17:05,400
in that time that’s when I started

444
00:17:02,339 –> 00:17:07,799
taking whatever jobs I could get and

445
00:17:05,400 –> 00:17:09,660
that was um it was a horrible experience

446
00:17:07,799 –> 00:17:11,699
but I also learned a lot and it’s made

447
00:17:09,660 –> 00:17:14,339
me a huge advocate against toxic

448
00:17:11,699 –> 00:17:15,900
workplaces because of seeing I knew why

449
00:17:14,339 –> 00:17:17,520
I had to put up with that and seeing

450
00:17:15,900 –> 00:17:19,439
like we don’t know our co-workers

451
00:17:17,520 –> 00:17:21,059
circumstances as to why they have to be

452
00:17:19,439 –> 00:17:22,199
there maybe they’re you know like

453
00:17:21,059 –> 00:17:23,640
they’ve been there forever they’re

454
00:17:22,199 –> 00:17:25,140
single mom supporting kids and they’re

455
00:17:23,640 –> 00:17:27,179
like I’ve put up with this and I need

456
00:17:25,140 –> 00:17:29,160
this job and now the environment

457
00:17:27,179 –> 00:17:31,559
economically has shifted and I’ve got to

458
00:17:29,160 –> 00:17:33,299
hold down my chair yeah um so like

459
00:17:31,559 –> 00:17:35,220
learning what I did in that time period

460
00:17:33,299 –> 00:17:36,600
it’s something that I speak a lot about

461
00:17:35,220 –> 00:17:38,340
it’s definitely something I share like

462
00:17:36,600 –> 00:17:40,080
all the horror stories in my book

463
00:17:38,340 –> 00:17:41,580
because I think the more we’re aware

464
00:17:40,080 –> 00:17:43,380
it’s kind of like being able to have

465
00:17:41,580 –> 00:17:44,940
lunch together like the more we share

466
00:17:43,380 –> 00:17:46,620
the more we’re aware the more we Empower

467
00:17:44,940 –> 00:17:49,679
each other to say like hey maybe this

468
00:17:46,620 –> 00:17:52,020
isn’t okay you know yeah no I it’s so

469
00:17:49,679 –> 00:17:55,320
funny we’re so similar because I’ve had

470
00:17:52,020 –> 00:17:58,140
many of those periods of times where I

471
00:17:55,320 –> 00:18:00,960
was at the top of my game and then

472
00:17:58,140 –> 00:18:03,539
top of my game like there’s so many Ebbs

473
00:18:00,960 –> 00:18:06,660
and flows and I I had to get sober

474
00:18:03,539 –> 00:18:08,940
during some of that because I was doing

475
00:18:06,660 –> 00:18:10,740
similar things I’m sure yeah what you

476
00:18:08,940 –> 00:18:13,260
are I mean and also like the downtown

477
00:18:10,740 –> 00:18:17,280
New York Fashion scene was so like

478
00:18:13,260 –> 00:18:19,500
Clubby still like oh 100 so it was like

479
00:18:17,280 –> 00:18:22,980
you would go to like someone’s show or

480
00:18:19,500 –> 00:18:25,020
whatever and um and they were very like

481
00:18:22,980 –> 00:18:27,000
club-esque like the longer you stayed

482
00:18:25,020 –> 00:18:28,799
the more [ __ ] was brought out like of

483
00:18:27,000 –> 00:18:31,380
course they curated it with like wine

484
00:18:28,799 –> 00:18:32,120
and whatever but then if you stayed yeah

485
00:18:31,380 –> 00:18:35,340
yeah

486
00:18:32,120 –> 00:18:37,620
yep so I’m sure we even like saw each

487
00:18:35,340 –> 00:18:39,360
other at some of them and had no idea oh

488
00:18:37,620 –> 00:18:41,160
probably I was probably like block out

489
00:18:39,360 –> 00:18:43,440
Sally in a corner because that was how I

490
00:18:41,160 –> 00:18:47,039
yeah I would just drink and like did you

491
00:18:43,440 –> 00:18:50,640
have any acne platform boots I did not I

492
00:18:47,039 –> 00:18:52,919
did not but I remember them either but I

493
00:18:50,640 –> 00:18:54,720
wanted them so bad but then now I’m glad

494
00:18:52,919 –> 00:18:57,600
I didn’t get them I’m gonna just Google

495
00:18:54,720 –> 00:18:59,940
those real quick sorry what the [ __ ] are

496
00:18:57,600 –> 00:19:03,360
they cold now I forget the name of the

497
00:18:59,940 –> 00:19:05,640
style but the style acne Studios and

498
00:19:03,360 –> 00:19:08,960
they were like a platform boot that had

499
00:19:05,640 –> 00:19:11,400
like like a silver metal like sort of

500
00:19:08,960 –> 00:19:13,980
wrap around on the bottom of the Soul

501
00:19:11,400 –> 00:19:16,320
kind of like all the ways like we did

502
00:19:13,980 –> 00:19:18,299
not have that in South Africa no I

503
00:19:16,320 –> 00:19:19,799
wouldn’t imagine that you would but I’m

504
00:19:18,299 –> 00:19:21,380
sure I saw you blacked out in the corner

505
00:19:19,799 –> 00:19:23,820
and I wouldn’t have

506
00:19:21,380 –> 00:19:25,679
all right so you’re at this like low

507
00:19:23,820 –> 00:19:27,660
point in your life

508
00:19:25,679 –> 00:19:29,820
um and where was it where were you

509
00:19:27,660 –> 00:19:31,320
living like what were you in Manhattan

510
00:19:29,820 –> 00:19:33,840
or were you in a bar so I was in

511
00:19:31,320 –> 00:19:35,520
Manhattan because like I was such a I

512
00:19:33,840 –> 00:19:36,720
was such a snob back then I was like

513
00:19:35,520 –> 00:19:39,240
Carrie Bradshaw I would not leave

514
00:19:36,720 –> 00:19:41,520
Manhattan so I lived in a [ __ ] like

515
00:19:39,240 –> 00:19:44,220
in it was like Soho close to Chinatown

516
00:19:41,520 –> 00:19:46,500
like I was like oh but like you know

517
00:19:44,220 –> 00:19:49,559
what I’m talking about yes

518
00:19:46,500 –> 00:19:52,080
I lived like on the edge of like

519
00:19:49,559 –> 00:19:56,160
Chinatown Soho so but my whole thing was

520
00:19:52,080 –> 00:19:58,440
I didn’t ever like tell anybody where

521
00:19:56,160 –> 00:20:01,320
like I was just like oh I live in SoHo

522
00:19:58,440 –> 00:20:02,640
kind of oh yeah all the time yeah

523
00:20:01,320 –> 00:20:03,960
because you can get away with with that

524
00:20:02,640 –> 00:20:06,480
in New York where it’s like oh I lived

525
00:20:03,960 –> 00:20:09,120
in SoHo um I only posted really cropped

526
00:20:06,480 –> 00:20:11,220
images of my dog never the apartment and

527
00:20:09,120 –> 00:20:12,600
then just like in the cool parts of Soho

528
00:20:11,220 –> 00:20:14,160
neighborhood I would be out and about

529
00:20:12,600 –> 00:20:15,720
and I’m like and and the thing is like

530
00:20:14,160 –> 00:20:17,580
no one no one knew and there are people

531
00:20:15,720 –> 00:20:19,200
that have read my book since that like

532
00:20:17,580 –> 00:20:21,419
that were close friends that were like I

533
00:20:19,200 –> 00:20:23,100
had no idea how poor you were or like

534
00:20:21,419 –> 00:20:25,020
how bad it was how bad all that whole

535
00:20:23,100 –> 00:20:27,419
period of depression and addiction and

536
00:20:25,020 –> 00:20:29,880
anxiety that I went through in that time

537
00:20:27,419 –> 00:20:31,919
because I curated my life which is like

538
00:20:29,880 –> 00:20:34,500
a downside to social media is that you

539
00:20:31,919 –> 00:20:37,080
can curate what you want people to see

540
00:20:34,500 –> 00:20:38,220
um so I did that and then I was working

541
00:20:37,080 –> 00:20:42,179
um in a lot of these like kind of

542
00:20:38,220 –> 00:20:43,380
smaller garment industry companies and

543
00:20:42,179 –> 00:20:45,000
um it was just it was terrible I

544
00:20:43,380 –> 00:20:46,860
remember when I lost the job at the

545
00:20:45,000 –> 00:20:48,960
place with the demerits and I was so

546
00:20:46,860 –> 00:20:50,820
happy like I literally that day and I

547
00:20:48,960 –> 00:20:52,620
had I kept nothing at my desk because I

548
00:20:50,820 –> 00:20:55,200
hated it so I just had like samples I

549
00:20:52,620 –> 00:20:57,600
was working on and that was it and um

550
00:20:55,200 –> 00:21:00,240
the the fake HR the assistant slash

551
00:20:57,600 –> 00:21:02,460
product development person slash HR came

552
00:21:00,240 –> 00:21:04,020
over and like was like oh you know can

553
00:21:02,460 –> 00:21:05,520
we go meet in this empty office which I

554
00:21:04,020 –> 00:21:07,320
was like oh this is I’m for sure as he’s

555
00:21:05,520 –> 00:21:09,539
getting let go and I remember just

556
00:21:07,320 –> 00:21:11,820
feeling the sense of Joy even though I

557
00:21:09,539 –> 00:21:13,320
shouldn’t have but I never have to come

558
00:21:11,820 –> 00:21:15,539
back here and I was like I know this is

559
00:21:13,320 –> 00:21:17,220
irresponsible at this time but um and

560
00:21:15,539 –> 00:21:19,860
then from that point on

561
00:21:17,220 –> 00:21:22,620
I started taking like random jobs like

562
00:21:19,860 –> 00:21:24,660
freelance jobs I literally even squashed

563
00:21:22,620 –> 00:21:27,240
grapes and this is okay I’m in my I

564
00:21:24,660 –> 00:21:28,679
think early 30s and had been like like

565
00:21:27,240 –> 00:21:30,059
you were saying you’ve been like you

566
00:21:28,679 –> 00:21:31,559
know at least levels I had been like a

567
00:21:30,059 –> 00:21:33,000
global vice president creative director

568
00:21:31,559 –> 00:21:34,980
I had like the beautiful Glamorous Life

569
00:21:33,000 –> 00:21:36,659
all the things I’m now living in the

570
00:21:34,980 –> 00:21:39,240
Soho Coastal Chinatown apartment I took

571
00:21:36,659 –> 00:21:41,520
a job off of Craigslist to squash grapes

572
00:21:39,240 –> 00:21:44,460
for a foot fetish wine guy that’s how

573
00:21:41,520 –> 00:21:48,120
bad I needed money so like how good did

574
00:21:44,460 –> 00:21:51,419
you pay did he pay how good was the pay

575
00:21:48,120 –> 00:21:53,640
so it was 200 an hour which at that

576
00:21:51,419 –> 00:21:56,120
point in my life felt like twenty

577
00:21:53,640 –> 00:22:00,780
thousand dollars you know oh my God

578
00:21:56,120 –> 00:22:03,960
okay 200 an hour I’ll be there tomorrow

579
00:22:00,780 –> 00:22:06,960
I mean a little exercise

580
00:22:03,960 –> 00:22:06,960
subscribe

581
00:22:09,480 –> 00:22:13,919
it was it was a gamble so I two of my

582
00:22:12,240 –> 00:22:15,840
friends went with me who are still

583
00:22:13,919 –> 00:22:17,580
friends to this day thank God we were

584
00:22:15,840 –> 00:22:19,799
like we’re all in this together we did

585
00:22:17,580 –> 00:22:21,120
it and we walked into this Warehouse on

586
00:22:19,799 –> 00:22:24,299
the West Side Highway and we’re like

587
00:22:21,120 –> 00:22:29,059
this might be where we die you know was

588
00:22:24,299 –> 00:22:29,059
it like near Chelsea Piers yeah yes yes

589
00:22:29,600 –> 00:22:34,620
so we would be walking this is like also

590
00:22:32,640 –> 00:22:35,520
in my book we all we walk in and we’re

591
00:22:34,620 –> 00:22:36,900
looking at each other and we’re like

592
00:22:35,520 –> 00:22:38,340
best case scenario it’s going to be that

593
00:22:36,900 –> 00:22:40,380
scene from I Love Lucy that everyone

594
00:22:38,340 –> 00:22:42,120
pictures when splashing grapes right and

595
00:22:40,380 –> 00:22:44,400
we’re like okay here’s hoping we get

596
00:22:42,120 –> 00:22:48,480
there there’s like a vinyl

597
00:22:44,400 –> 00:22:48,480
um tarp on the ground cereal

598
00:22:48,539 –> 00:22:52,020
and I’m like yeah I’m like this is and

599
00:22:50,280 –> 00:22:53,100
then my friend like Whispers in my ear

600
00:22:52,020 –> 00:22:54,659
she goes and that’s where they’re gonna

601
00:22:53,100 –> 00:22:56,580
roll us up and at this point we’re just

602
00:22:54,659 –> 00:22:58,080
like we gotta we gotta pray she had mace

603
00:22:56,580 –> 00:23:00,179
she had

604
00:22:58,080 –> 00:23:01,440
um vinyl like Catwoman pants because

605
00:23:00,179 –> 00:23:02,760
she’s like those are hard to get off

606
00:23:01,440 –> 00:23:05,039
it’s like a chastity belt and I’m like

607
00:23:02,760 –> 00:23:07,080
this one’s smart you know yeah and

608
00:23:05,039 –> 00:23:10,140
you’re like I’m wearing my linen lounge

609
00:23:07,080 –> 00:23:12,480
pants so that they’re easy access like I

610
00:23:10,140 –> 00:23:14,820
did not think this through I’m like I

611
00:23:12,480 –> 00:23:17,880
was just wearing them with no underwear

612
00:23:14,820 –> 00:23:19,860
yeah it was like Madonna La Isla Bonita

613
00:23:17,880 –> 00:23:22,679
I’m picturing like I Love Lucy Italian

614
00:23:19,860 –> 00:23:26,120
villum like I did not thinking it’s like

615
00:23:22,679 –> 00:23:29,460
a dingy like was it like a storage unit

616
00:23:26,120 –> 00:23:31,620
or was it actually basically it was like

617
00:23:29,460 –> 00:23:33,419
a weird I mean I don’t know what it was

618
00:23:31,620 –> 00:23:35,580
to this day but like it was like a

619
00:23:33,419 –> 00:23:37,260
warehouse storage unit he was also a

620
00:23:35,580 –> 00:23:38,940
part-time DJ it was one of those

621
00:23:37,260 –> 00:23:40,919
part-time money ones because who of

622
00:23:38,940 –> 00:23:43,799
course he was at that time wasn’t a

623
00:23:40,919 –> 00:23:45,419
part-time DJ yeah so there was like a DJ

624
00:23:43,799 –> 00:23:47,460
kind of sort of set up there was the

625
00:23:45,419 –> 00:23:50,220
tarp and then he just gave us these bags

626
00:23:47,460 –> 00:23:51,840
from grustities of grapes and we were

627
00:23:50,220 –> 00:23:53,520
like okay

628
00:23:51,840 –> 00:23:55,020
um and we were just trying to make it

629
00:23:53,520 –> 00:23:56,940
last because we’re like if we’re not

630
00:23:55,020 –> 00:23:59,100
being murdered we want the 200 we want

631
00:23:56,940 –> 00:24:01,260
the whole hour each of us so we’re

632
00:23:59,100 –> 00:24:03,840
trying to slowly like squash these

633
00:24:01,260 –> 00:24:05,760
grapes he did pay it was as legit as

634
00:24:03,840 –> 00:24:07,740
that experience could be but just like

635
00:24:05,760 –> 00:24:09,480
for scale of like started from the

636
00:24:07,740 –> 00:24:12,419
bottom now we hear kind of thing that

637
00:24:09,480 –> 00:24:15,780
was the level of what I was the jobs

638
00:24:12,419 –> 00:24:18,299
that I was taking can we just cause here

639
00:24:15,780 –> 00:24:20,340
for a second and remind people that if

640
00:24:18,299 –> 00:24:22,320
this podcast is something you enjoy we

641
00:24:20,340 –> 00:24:24,720
would love to hear from you you can find

642
00:24:22,320 –> 00:24:27,059
us on Instagram LinkedIn and YouTube at

643
00:24:24,720 –> 00:24:29,640
let’s break up toxic workplace stories

644
00:24:27,059 –> 00:24:31,980
sharing and subscribing really helps us

645
00:24:29,640 –> 00:24:32,880
feel validated did you show up [ __ ] up

646
00:24:31,980 –> 00:24:35,220
though

647
00:24:32,880 –> 00:24:37,200
um you know what’s weird is that one

648
00:24:35,220 –> 00:24:39,480
um I had just gotten sober like I

649
00:24:37,200 –> 00:24:40,620
stopped drinking in 2017 and that was

650
00:24:39,480 –> 00:24:42,720
one of the hardest things because I was

651
00:24:40,620 –> 00:24:44,039
like I want vodka like whoa like I would

652
00:24:42,720 –> 00:24:45,659
have downed a bottle of rubbing alcohol

653
00:24:44,039 –> 00:24:47,520
at that point I was like I cannot

654
00:24:45,659 –> 00:24:49,980
believe what I’m experiencing that

655
00:24:47,520 –> 00:24:51,780
you’re making with your toes yeah yeah

656
00:24:49,980 –> 00:24:55,700
you’re like let me see if I can get a

657
00:24:51,780 –> 00:24:58,799
little off my toe here that’s amazing

658
00:24:55,700 –> 00:25:01,679
I have a similar Craigslist story well

659
00:24:58,799 –> 00:25:03,059
anyway so I um so I was really I had a

660
00:25:01,679 –> 00:25:04,919
really bad bout of depression and

661
00:25:03,059 –> 00:25:07,679
anxiety when I decided to take myself

662
00:25:04,919 –> 00:25:09,840
off my ssris that I had been on for like

663
00:25:07,679 –> 00:25:12,120
years which is never a good idea like

664
00:25:09,840 –> 00:25:16,320
don’t ever do that completely without

665
00:25:12,120 –> 00:25:17,820
doctor you know um mentioned yeah or

666
00:25:16,320 –> 00:25:20,340
like even them saying like we’re gonna

667
00:25:17,820 –> 00:25:21,960
taper down I just want cold turkey so I

668
00:25:20,340 –> 00:25:25,799
went off cold turkey got sober

669
00:25:21,960 –> 00:25:27,240
everything and then I lost a [ __ ] ton of

670
00:25:25,799 –> 00:25:29,820
weight because I went through such bad

671
00:25:27,240 –> 00:25:31,860
like depression and anxiety and I think

672
00:25:29,820 –> 00:25:33,299
I had lost my job at the time or I don’t

673
00:25:31,860 –> 00:25:35,880
remember what was happening I needed

674
00:25:33,299 –> 00:25:39,059
extra money for some reason and I almost

675
00:25:35,880 –> 00:25:41,159
took a gig in the South Bronx where I

676
00:25:39,059 –> 00:25:42,960
was going to be an artist model so just

677
00:25:41,159 –> 00:25:45,059
go there and be completely nude

678
00:25:42,960 –> 00:25:47,520
thankfully I had a sponsor at the time

679
00:25:45,059 –> 00:25:49,620
who was like you’re gonna die and I

680
00:25:47,520 –> 00:25:52,020
finally was like okay maybe this isn’t a

681
00:25:49,620 –> 00:25:54,120
good idea no it’s I mean there and it is

682
00:25:52,020 –> 00:25:57,299
such a weird thing in New York culture

683
00:25:54,120 –> 00:25:59,220
where a lot of people take those gigs on

684
00:25:57,299 –> 00:26:01,080
it’s like oh my gosh well you can make

685
00:25:59,220 –> 00:26:04,080
money quickly in New York it’s not in

686
00:26:01,080 –> 00:26:07,260
the safest of manners but like yeah I I

687
00:26:04,080 –> 00:26:09,240
did the foot fetish wine I rented my my

688
00:26:07,260 –> 00:26:11,700
the terrible apartment people actually

689
00:26:09,240 –> 00:26:13,799
paid to Airbnb it which was only one

690
00:26:11,700 –> 00:26:15,600
woman came in and said you’ve got to be

691
00:26:13,799 –> 00:26:17,220
effing kidding me and turned around and

692
00:26:15,600 –> 00:26:20,039
walked out and she’s my idol to this day

693
00:26:17,220 –> 00:26:21,659
but like people paid to stay in that

694
00:26:20,039 –> 00:26:23,760
horrible apartment it’s like like you

695
00:26:21,659 –> 00:26:25,140
can hustle in New York just you know on

696
00:26:23,760 –> 00:26:27,360
that topic if you want to like follow

697
00:26:25,140 –> 00:26:30,000
subscribe and share we would love to a

698
00:26:27,360 –> 00:26:32,460
lot of fun thank you just Yeah Yeah the

699
00:26:30,000 –> 00:26:35,340
more the better because we’re making 0.0

700
00:26:32,460 –> 00:26:37,460
right now we’re making three dollars

701
00:26:35,340 –> 00:26:40,919
from Bob boberson

702
00:26:37,460 –> 00:26:45,299
at Rock Bottom you have barely survived

703
00:26:40,919 –> 00:26:45,299
a foot fetish Craigslist like

704
00:26:45,320 –> 00:26:51,419
Wormhole that you’ve ended up in you’re

705
00:26:48,480 –> 00:26:52,679
trying to hustle money and where are we

706
00:26:51,419 –> 00:26:55,080
at now

707
00:26:52,679 –> 00:26:57,000
so I mean I think I just started too

708
00:26:55,080 –> 00:26:59,760
like in a big part of it for me is

709
00:26:57,000 –> 00:27:02,760
similar to Gina’s story as I stopped

710
00:26:59,760 –> 00:27:05,159
drinking stop substances and in that I

711
00:27:02,760 –> 00:27:07,080
was making slight better choices but

712
00:27:05,159 –> 00:27:08,220
fetish situation was out of desperation

713
00:27:07,080 –> 00:27:11,220
I’m not saying that was a good choice

714
00:27:08,220 –> 00:27:13,620
nor do I advocate anybody do that but as

715
00:27:11,220 –> 00:27:15,419
I was like kind of climbing up more um

716
00:27:13,620 –> 00:27:17,220
higher level opportunities even

717
00:27:15,419 –> 00:27:19,380
freelance of just better companies

718
00:27:17,220 –> 00:27:22,799
started to open so I then started

719
00:27:19,380 –> 00:27:24,900
freelancing with a company that was

720
00:27:22,799 –> 00:27:26,640
honestly amazing and the only reason I

721
00:27:24,900 –> 00:27:28,860
left is because I’ve started becoming

722
00:27:26,640 –> 00:27:30,059
very successful in my own business but I

723
00:27:28,860 –> 00:27:33,000
was freelancing with them and that’s

724
00:27:30,059 –> 00:27:35,640
when I learned to boundary of like you

725
00:27:33,000 –> 00:27:37,740
do have a lot of power as a consultant a

726
00:27:35,640 –> 00:27:39,000
contractor or a freelancer where I was

727
00:27:37,740 –> 00:27:40,980
like okay these are the days I’m

728
00:27:39,000 –> 00:27:42,539
available and when I when I would shut

729
00:27:40,980 –> 00:27:44,100
my computer down at five o’clock I would

730
00:27:42,539 –> 00:27:46,740
walk out the door and it’s interesting

731
00:27:44,100 –> 00:27:49,380
how um there’s the perceived

732
00:27:46,740 –> 00:27:51,240
um like oh we have more Security in full

733
00:27:49,380 –> 00:27:53,580
time but it’s like we have more access

734
00:27:51,240 –> 00:27:56,400
to boundaries as a concern resultant or

735
00:27:53,580 –> 00:27:59,100
a contractor and that’s kind of allowed

736
00:27:56,400 –> 00:28:01,020
me to build the bridge from that to

737
00:27:59,100 –> 00:28:03,720
working in my own business so I slowly

738
00:28:01,020 –> 00:28:05,700
scaled back my days with them and bought

739
00:28:03,720 –> 00:28:07,260
that time back into my own business I

740
00:28:05,700 –> 00:28:09,120
started reading so as I was coming

741
00:28:07,260 –> 00:28:12,600
through that terrible like depression

742
00:28:09,120 –> 00:28:14,400
like moving out of my my addiction and

743
00:28:12,600 –> 00:28:15,720
just cleaning up my entire life and I

744
00:28:14,400 –> 00:28:17,159
would pull one card as a and then I

745
00:28:15,720 –> 00:28:18,659
started to remember oh I was good at

746
00:28:17,159 –> 00:28:21,299
this as a kid and started reading for

747
00:28:18,659 –> 00:28:22,620
friends for colleagues at that um the

748
00:28:21,299 –> 00:28:24,720
company in the fashion industry where I

749
00:28:22,620 –> 00:28:26,159
was Consulting and people were getting

750
00:28:24,720 –> 00:28:27,659
accurate results they’re like oh my God

751
00:28:26,159 –> 00:28:29,820
she predicted I was gonna get pregnant

752
00:28:27,659 –> 00:28:31,559
exactly in this month she predicted that

753
00:28:29,820 –> 00:28:33,179
this deal was going to close and so word

754
00:28:31,559 –> 00:28:34,799
kind of got around it started as a very

755
00:28:33,179 –> 00:28:36,299
Word of Mouth thing

756
00:28:34,799 –> 00:28:38,700
um and then my business my one-on-one

757
00:28:36,299 –> 00:28:41,100
child readings grew I was doing like um

758
00:28:38,700 –> 00:28:43,200
events and reading at places in New York

759
00:28:41,100 –> 00:28:45,240
and then eventually created my own Tarot

760
00:28:43,200 –> 00:28:48,179
deck launched my podcast hacks in the

761
00:28:45,240 –> 00:28:50,340
city and then was able to step away and

762
00:28:48,179 –> 00:28:53,100
completely run my own business from 2019

763
00:28:50,340 –> 00:28:56,640
on I I did write it a chapter or about

764
00:28:53,100 –> 00:29:00,059
it of um in my book of kind of like okay

765
00:28:56,640 –> 00:29:02,340
this was me climbing out of that hole of

766
00:29:00,059 –> 00:29:04,140
from having absolutely nothing I think

767
00:29:02,340 –> 00:29:05,760
at the lowest point I literally was in

768
00:29:04,140 –> 00:29:08,100
that Soho close to Chinatown apartment

769
00:29:05,760 –> 00:29:10,500
had three figures in my bank account

770
00:29:08,100 –> 00:29:12,240
which was like the like less than I had

771
00:29:10,500 –> 00:29:14,340
probably even like graduating college

772
00:29:12,240 –> 00:29:16,620
and just was like what where do I go

773
00:29:14,340 –> 00:29:18,120
from here and it was a it was a point of

774
00:29:16,620 –> 00:29:19,860
like I am at the bottom but there’s

775
00:29:18,120 –> 00:29:22,260
something with that that allows you to

776
00:29:19,860 –> 00:29:23,640
surrender of kind of like how much worse

777
00:29:22,260 –> 00:29:25,260
can it get and it makes you a little

778
00:29:23,640 –> 00:29:26,820
more Fearless

779
00:29:25,260 –> 00:29:28,260
um and that’s when I started I remember

780
00:29:26,820 –> 00:29:29,640
getting offered full time with the

781
00:29:28,260 –> 00:29:31,260
company I was freelancing with and I

782
00:29:29,640 –> 00:29:33,179
said no thank you because I really liked

783
00:29:31,260 –> 00:29:35,340
my freedom and it’s something that I had

784
00:29:33,179 –> 00:29:37,679
been so trained from like coming from

785
00:29:35,340 –> 00:29:39,179
you know my grandparents or come polish

786
00:29:37,679 –> 00:29:40,799
immigrants my dad was like put your head

787
00:29:39,179 –> 00:29:43,020
down except a full-time job get the

788
00:29:40,799 –> 00:29:44,640
benefits and when I had when I had like

789
00:29:43,020 –> 00:29:46,620
lost everything and the Slate was kind

790
00:29:44,640 –> 00:29:48,960
of wiped clean for better or worse I was

791
00:29:46,620 –> 00:29:50,880
like no do I how much do I value my

792
00:29:48,960 –> 00:29:52,320
freedom how much do I value my time and

793
00:29:50,880 –> 00:29:53,820
the ability to build what I love on the

794
00:29:52,320 –> 00:29:56,220
side and that’s really when things

795
00:29:53,820 –> 00:29:58,440
started to change and when I I remember

796
00:29:56,220 –> 00:30:00,299
even like before the quiet quitting

797
00:29:58,440 –> 00:30:02,159
Trend was being like for you know like

798
00:30:00,299 –> 00:30:04,200
broadcast across media during the

799
00:30:02,159 –> 00:30:05,940
pandemic I was the one pre-pandemic that

800
00:30:04,200 –> 00:30:07,740
was like okay bye peace out and I know

801
00:30:05,940 –> 00:30:10,080
it would trigger people but it also

802
00:30:07,740 –> 00:30:12,120
inspired others because I was like no

803
00:30:10,080 –> 00:30:14,039
I’m I’m honoring my contract I’m not

804
00:30:12,120 –> 00:30:15,779
being disrespectful I’m I’m complaining

805
00:30:14,039 –> 00:30:17,940
what I’m here to do but I’m not going to

806
00:30:15,779 –> 00:30:20,159
sell pieces of my soul to a company

807
00:30:17,940 –> 00:30:22,500
because at the end of the day even in a

808
00:30:20,159 –> 00:30:25,260
full-time like you know like executive

809
00:30:22,500 –> 00:30:27,659
level V level c-level job they can cut

810
00:30:25,260 –> 00:30:29,460
us at any point and it’s not it’s this

811
00:30:27,659 –> 00:30:31,799
perceived security but it’s not really

812
00:30:29,460 –> 00:30:33,480
guaranteed security and that’s like one

813
00:30:31,799 –> 00:30:35,159
of the things that really shifted things

814
00:30:33,480 –> 00:30:35,880
for me it’s also helped me build my

815
00:30:35,159 –> 00:30:37,679
business

816
00:30:35,880 –> 00:30:40,080
um and in a way that’s very conscious of

817
00:30:37,679 –> 00:30:41,520
that but um that’s how I I love what you

818
00:30:40,080 –> 00:30:43,500
guys are doing because I think it’s kind

819
00:30:41,520 –> 00:30:45,240
of starting that conversation

820
00:30:43,500 –> 00:30:47,159
um making it known that like no I’m not

821
00:30:45,240 –> 00:30:49,620
alone and experiencing these crazy

822
00:30:47,159 –> 00:30:51,779
insane toxic situations and the

823
00:30:49,620 –> 00:30:53,880
expectations that are placed upon us

824
00:30:51,779 –> 00:30:55,679
that we didn’t agree to uphold but

825
00:30:53,880 –> 00:30:57,779
somehow like we’re we’re considered a

826
00:30:55,679 –> 00:31:00,059
bit bad if we don’t Unwritten social

827
00:30:57,779 –> 00:31:02,460
expectations yes right there’s these

828
00:31:00,059 –> 00:31:05,220
Unwritten social expectations across the

829
00:31:02,460 –> 00:31:07,020
board you know you have them in your

830
00:31:05,220 –> 00:31:08,340
personal life you know you’ve got to

831
00:31:07,020 –> 00:31:10,260
tick off these certain social

832
00:31:08,340 –> 00:31:12,240
expectations but then at work there’s

833
00:31:10,260 –> 00:31:14,640
these Unwritten ones that you kind of

834
00:31:12,240 –> 00:31:16,860
learn along the way and especially in a

835
00:31:14,640 –> 00:31:20,039
toxic workplace those Unwritten

836
00:31:16,860 –> 00:31:22,140
expectations can sometimes be absolutely

837
00:31:20,039 –> 00:31:25,799
bizarre as well where you’re like these

838
00:31:22,140 –> 00:31:27,299
don’t even match who I am as a human and

839
00:31:25,799 –> 00:31:29,100
and that’s what you’re talking about

840
00:31:27,299 –> 00:31:32,039
when you’re saying I won’t sell my soul

841
00:31:29,100 –> 00:31:35,039
it’s like yeah because what happens with

842
00:31:32,039 –> 00:31:37,919
people in toxic environments is

843
00:31:35,039 –> 00:31:40,140
you do start acquiescing and you’re not

844
00:31:37,919 –> 00:31:42,360
even realizing that you’re acquiescing

845
00:31:40,140 –> 00:31:44,880
even if you’re like this is weird but

846
00:31:42,360 –> 00:31:47,220
I’ll just do it anyway because this is

847
00:31:44,880 –> 00:31:50,159
the company culture and I want I don’t

848
00:31:47,220 –> 00:31:51,779
want to learn my job like yeah yeah and

849
00:31:50,159 –> 00:31:53,520
then before you know it you’re morphing

850
00:31:51,779 –> 00:31:57,059
into someone you don’t even recognize

851
00:31:53,520 –> 00:31:59,520
it’s so horrible it’s really horrible so

852
00:31:57,059 –> 00:32:02,159
when you got

853
00:31:59,520 –> 00:32:04,559
um fired from the small Intimates

854
00:32:02,159 –> 00:32:07,080
company how did what happened like what

855
00:32:04,559 –> 00:32:09,240
did they brought you into the room and

856
00:32:07,080 –> 00:32:11,399
why did they say you were getting let go

857
00:32:09,240 –> 00:32:12,899
oh it was literally just like like

858
00:32:11,399 –> 00:32:14,820
addressed as like layoffs your position

859
00:32:12,899 –> 00:32:16,679
isn’t needed anymore but I think like I

860
00:32:14,820 –> 00:32:18,059
did not fit the culture like I was the

861
00:32:16,679 –> 00:32:19,320
one that was like like you’re saying

862
00:32:18,059 –> 00:32:20,700
like does anyone else I wasn’t making

863
00:32:19,320 –> 00:32:22,200
waves at that point because I needed the

864
00:32:20,700 –> 00:32:24,240
money I needed the paycheck so badly but

865
00:32:22,200 –> 00:32:26,399
I was kind of like no one else thinks

866
00:32:24,240 –> 00:32:27,840
this is odd no one else thinks it’s odd

867
00:32:26,399 –> 00:32:29,279
that like we’re not supposed to go to

868
00:32:27,840 –> 00:32:30,539
lunch together that we get demerits for

869
00:32:29,279 –> 00:32:32,100
like a dress code we don’t really know

870
00:32:30,539 –> 00:32:34,080
what it is or if we’re like five minutes

871
00:32:32,100 –> 00:32:36,840
late because of Subway

872
00:32:34,080 –> 00:32:38,940
um there were so many things and

873
00:32:36,840 –> 00:32:40,919
um yeah and I think that they saw that

874
00:32:38,940 –> 00:32:42,539
and I would always like I would be the

875
00:32:40,919 –> 00:32:44,100
first to leave in my department like

876
00:32:42,539 –> 00:32:45,480
even I’d be like okay I would hold down

877
00:32:44,100 –> 00:32:47,220
the chair I would do the whole game of

878
00:32:45,480 –> 00:32:48,360
chair holding down but like finally at

879
00:32:47,220 –> 00:32:50,399
six o’clock I’m like I’ve been

880
00:32:48,360 –> 00:32:52,200
refreshing browsers and looking at at

881
00:32:50,399 –> 00:32:54,659
that time probably Facebook for you know

882
00:32:52,200 –> 00:32:56,720
for this long like I’m gonna go and that

883
00:32:54,659 –> 00:32:59,279
was like oh like

884
00:32:56,720 –> 00:33:01,919
was it was it one of those situations

885
00:32:59,279 –> 00:33:04,380
where like no one wanted to leave before

886
00:33:01,919 –> 00:33:06,480
the boss left oh yeah totally no one

887
00:33:04,380 –> 00:33:08,399
wanted to leave and I just in my mind

888
00:33:06,480 –> 00:33:10,620
because I had been like like you know

889
00:33:08,399 –> 00:33:12,659
like you have bet like I was I I was a

890
00:33:10,620 –> 00:33:14,220
boss lady and I did lead my team and I I

891
00:33:12,659 –> 00:33:15,840
never rolled like that I was kind of

892
00:33:14,220 –> 00:33:17,279
like if you’re done and like we’re

893
00:33:15,840 –> 00:33:19,440
wrapped up for where we need to be in

894
00:33:17,279 –> 00:33:21,360
the season the week whatever like cool

895
00:33:19,440 –> 00:33:23,100
like then leave at five o’clock check

896
00:33:21,360 –> 00:33:25,200
out when you’re done um so that that

897
00:33:23,100 –> 00:33:27,120
culture after being in big brands that I

898
00:33:25,200 –> 00:33:29,159
had more autonomy and I was able to lead

899
00:33:27,120 –> 00:33:32,039
my teams that way it just felt very very

900
00:33:29,159 –> 00:33:33,600
foreign and very oppressive so I would

901
00:33:32,039 –> 00:33:35,340
be the first to leave even if that was

902
00:33:33,600 –> 00:33:37,500
at six six thirty people were holding

903
00:33:35,340 –> 00:33:39,200
down the chairs like until 8 8 30 if the

904
00:33:37,500 –> 00:33:42,299
boss was still there and I was like I

905
00:33:39,200 –> 00:33:44,580
cannot and so I think I was even in like

906
00:33:42,299 –> 00:33:47,399
a quiet way a disrupter just from doing

907
00:33:44,580 –> 00:33:49,380
that and so yeah I was I was um let go

908
00:33:47,399 –> 00:33:51,419
on the explanation of like this position

909
00:33:49,380 –> 00:33:54,539
is is being eliminated and I was like

910
00:33:51,419 –> 00:33:56,640
cool you were too like too big time to

911
00:33:54,539 –> 00:33:58,620
be there you were a threat I mean and

912
00:33:56,640 –> 00:34:00,120
and I don’t I mean I don’t know I felt

913
00:33:58,620 –> 00:34:01,620
like I mean I was such a disaster at

914
00:34:00,120 –> 00:34:04,200
that point in my life that I needed to

915
00:34:01,620 –> 00:34:06,500
be but yeah it could have I honestly it

916
00:34:04,200 –> 00:34:09,119
could have been that too because

917
00:34:06,500 –> 00:34:11,580
yeah when you’re like in your active

918
00:34:09,119 –> 00:34:15,379
addiction or alcoholism yeah you think

919
00:34:11,580 –> 00:34:15,379
you got everything together but yeah

920
00:34:15,500 –> 00:34:21,480
yeah but yeah you’re not together

921
00:34:19,679 –> 00:34:23,099
oh a hundred percent and it’s like it’s

922
00:34:21,480 –> 00:34:26,220
funny because when I look back at that

923
00:34:23,099 –> 00:34:28,679
like you know I like I joke about that

924
00:34:26,220 –> 00:34:30,419
the foot fat of squat grape squashing

925
00:34:28,679 –> 00:34:32,159
but I’d rather work for him any day than

926
00:34:30,419 –> 00:34:34,679
that freaking that company in the

927
00:34:32,159 –> 00:34:36,599
Garment District there was more of a

928
00:34:34,679 –> 00:34:39,060
here’s what we’re here to do the hour

929
00:34:36,599 –> 00:34:41,520
was up and it was kind of like here’s

930
00:34:39,060 –> 00:34:43,800
money it is what it is right and it’s

931
00:34:41,520 –> 00:34:45,720
like a clear-cut I love that very

932
00:34:43,800 –> 00:34:48,240
clear-cut and I have more respect for

933
00:34:45,720 –> 00:34:50,700
that dude in the like the stain t-shirt

934
00:34:48,240 –> 00:34:53,099
the half DJ half vid like what what

935
00:34:50,700 –> 00:34:55,560
would he be considered like a a wine

936
00:34:53,099 –> 00:34:58,380
vineyard owner I’m not sure you know

937
00:34:55,560 –> 00:35:00,599
what I’m gonna say I’m gonna say that he

938
00:34:58,380 –> 00:35:02,099
was a

939
00:35:00,599 –> 00:35:04,920
um fajita

940
00:35:02,099 –> 00:35:06,720
yeah

941
00:35:04,920 –> 00:35:08,040
it would be even better if he could like

942
00:35:06,720 –> 00:35:11,220
spin with his feet I like where you’re

943
00:35:08,040 –> 00:35:13,740
going with that that would make me money

944
00:35:11,220 –> 00:35:18,119
I have questions I still have questions

945
00:35:13,740 –> 00:35:20,400
about foot fetish guys did he did did he

946
00:35:18,119 –> 00:35:23,460
have an erection at any point

947
00:35:20,400 –> 00:35:26,640
or you know we were so focused we were

948
00:35:23,460 –> 00:35:28,260
just like we gotta like get our 200 here

949
00:35:26,640 –> 00:35:30,240
um so and he was also behind the DJ

950
00:35:28,260 –> 00:35:32,460
booth that I do not know did he give you

951
00:35:30,240 –> 00:35:34,800
music yeah oh there was it was kind of

952
00:35:32,460 –> 00:35:36,599
like um like some slow jams some like

953
00:35:34,800 –> 00:35:39,480
Stevie Wonder

954
00:35:36,599 –> 00:35:41,240
um there was I like this um some slow

955
00:35:39,480 –> 00:35:44,220
jams for a while

956
00:35:41,240 –> 00:35:45,420
I’m seeing my last breath to Stevie

957
00:35:44,220 –> 00:35:47,579
Wonder

958
00:35:45,420 –> 00:35:50,940
worse ways to go

959
00:35:47,579 –> 00:35:53,160
honestly ask me I’m true true crime

960
00:35:50,940 –> 00:35:57,180
podcast Queen over here

961
00:35:53,160 –> 00:35:59,760
um did he videotape or record no no not

962
00:35:57,180 –> 00:36:01,140
that you know not that we know of not

963
00:35:59,760 –> 00:36:02,520
that we know if it was literally so we

964
00:36:01,140 –> 00:36:04,800
squashed it

965
00:36:02,520 –> 00:36:07,260
um it was then um we poured it into

966
00:36:04,800 –> 00:36:09,359
these like clear glass

967
00:36:07,260 –> 00:36:11,099
um like wine shaped bottles and then he

968
00:36:09,359 –> 00:36:12,660
had he was like now it’s time to present

969
00:36:11,099 –> 00:36:14,220
me with the wine and we’re like what and

970
00:36:12,660 –> 00:36:17,099
he gave us I kid you not like lucite

971
00:36:14,220 –> 00:36:19,740
heels that then we had to put on and

972
00:36:17,099 –> 00:36:22,400
like present the wine yeah and that was

973
00:36:19,740 –> 00:36:24,960
that I like it

974
00:36:22,400 –> 00:36:25,920
personally it’s not a vintage I want to

975
00:36:24,960 –> 00:36:29,280
drink

976
00:36:25,920 –> 00:36:31,560
yeah so do you think he would like let

977
00:36:29,280 –> 00:36:33,119
it age and then drink it that’s not how

978
00:36:31,560 –> 00:36:36,140
you make wine dude it’s not just

979
00:36:33,119 –> 00:36:40,079
squishing grapes yeah

980
00:36:36,140 –> 00:36:43,500
it was definitely legit Vineyard no I

981
00:36:40,079 –> 00:36:46,980
know but you can’t you can get wine from

982
00:36:43,500 –> 00:36:49,500
grapes okay so they’re cycling back yes

983
00:36:46,980 –> 00:36:50,940
so I mean this has been amazing though

984
00:36:49,500 –> 00:36:52,380
so far I’m like so into this

985
00:36:50,940 –> 00:36:55,200
conversation because it’s got everything

986
00:36:52,380 –> 00:36:57,260
it’s like Stefan it’s like the club with

987
00:36:55,200 –> 00:37:01,140
the dwarfs

988
00:36:57,260 –> 00:37:05,099
you just said that it is it is yes okay

989
00:37:01,140 –> 00:37:06,119
so you start your own business and do

990
00:37:05,099 –> 00:37:08,820
you want to tell us a little bit about

991
00:37:06,119 –> 00:37:11,700
what that is I mean I think yes I know

992
00:37:08,820 –> 00:37:14,820
it’s tarot card reading right but yes

993
00:37:11,700 –> 00:37:16,740
it is totally so when I when I hit that

994
00:37:14,820 –> 00:37:18,119
like Dark Night of the Soul moment and I

995
00:37:16,740 –> 00:37:19,680
had no money was in the horrible

996
00:37:18,119 –> 00:37:22,560
apartment had gone through those really

997
00:37:19,680 –> 00:37:25,140
toxic like abusive work environments

998
00:37:22,560 –> 00:37:26,339
um I literally like trigger warning it

999
00:37:25,140 –> 00:37:27,720
gets dark it gets better obviously I’m

1000
00:37:26,339 –> 00:37:29,820
here but like I had planned to kill

1001
00:37:27,720 –> 00:37:32,040
myself I was like I cannot exist like

1002
00:37:29,820 –> 00:37:33,599
this and that was the plan I had like my

1003
00:37:32,040 –> 00:37:35,460
pills all lined up

1004
00:37:33,599 –> 00:37:38,280
um through a series of events that like

1005
00:37:35,460 –> 00:37:40,260
the universe intervened thankfully and

1006
00:37:38,280 –> 00:37:41,940
when I came when I came through that I

1007
00:37:40,260 –> 00:37:45,359
was like if I’m here I’m here for a

1008
00:37:41,940 –> 00:37:46,859
reason and I need to find a way to heal

1009
00:37:45,359 –> 00:37:48,420
and I knew I needed to heal the

1010
00:37:46,859 –> 00:37:50,220
addiction and I knew I needed to do

1011
00:37:48,420 –> 00:37:51,540
something that made me feel excited to

1012
00:37:50,220 –> 00:37:52,920
be here every day because aside from

1013
00:37:51,540 –> 00:37:54,300
getting up to feed my dog at that point

1014
00:37:52,920 –> 00:37:55,920
there was no reason to even get out of

1015
00:37:54,300 –> 00:37:59,099
bed and I was in just like a really deep

1016
00:37:55,920 –> 00:38:02,280
difference identify with that like I was

1017
00:37:59,099 –> 00:38:04,320
I had this I had a plan had everything I

1018
00:38:02,280 –> 00:38:06,240
had a stupid cat at the time but she

1019
00:38:04,320 –> 00:38:08,339
saved my life like I’m not a cat person

1020
00:38:06,240 –> 00:38:10,800
I just happened to have a cat I now have

1021
00:38:08,339 –> 00:38:13,980
two annoying dogs but

1022
00:38:10,800 –> 00:38:17,520
um if it wasn’t for her like knowing

1023
00:38:13,980 –> 00:38:19,740
that yes probably die and like you know

1024
00:38:17,520 –> 00:38:22,500
who knows how long it would take for

1025
00:38:19,740 –> 00:38:25,140
someone to find us I I wouldn’t be here

1026
00:38:22,500 –> 00:38:28,020
either so yeah our stories are very

1027
00:38:25,140 –> 00:38:31,619
similar it’s so weird okay yeah

1028
00:38:28,020 –> 00:38:33,599
you start doing so then you decide to

1029
00:38:31,619 –> 00:38:35,760
put everything into your tarot card

1030
00:38:33,599 –> 00:38:37,079
reading so no that’s when I was still

1031
00:38:35,760 –> 00:38:38,940
doing both I ended up getting a

1032
00:38:37,079 –> 00:38:41,099
freelance job with a company that was

1033
00:38:38,940 –> 00:38:42,900
actually like very kind and like it was

1034
00:38:41,099 –> 00:38:45,060
a fair exchange they were they were a

1035
00:38:42,900 –> 00:38:46,980
proper company with like proper HR and

1036
00:38:45,060 –> 00:38:49,560
like you know they’re great and I like

1037
00:38:46,980 –> 00:38:51,119
the the I literally like the the CEO is

1038
00:38:49,560 –> 00:38:53,040
one of the kindest like guys I’ve ever

1039
00:38:51,119 –> 00:38:54,599
met so I had a really positive

1040
00:38:53,040 –> 00:38:56,760
experience there and so while I was

1041
00:38:54,599 –> 00:38:58,560
doing that to make just enough money to

1042
00:38:56,760 –> 00:39:00,960
like get myself out of that hole so then

1043
00:38:58,560 –> 00:39:02,940
I got like a teeny teeny tiny Studio but

1044
00:39:00,960 –> 00:39:05,579
like in a nice neighborhood in a safe

1045
00:39:02,940 –> 00:39:07,320
building you know and like like slowly

1046
00:39:05,579 –> 00:39:10,079
built my way out

1047
00:39:07,320 –> 00:39:11,220
um and was doing tarot on the side so

1048
00:39:10,079 –> 00:39:13,020
then that’s when I was like pulling

1049
00:39:11,220 –> 00:39:15,180
cards a day for myself

1050
00:39:13,020 –> 00:39:17,460
um I had stopped drinking I had like

1051
00:39:15,180 –> 00:39:19,800
really cleaned up like my physical like

1052
00:39:17,460 –> 00:39:21,900
what I was putting into my body and how

1053
00:39:19,800 –> 00:39:23,339
I was spending my time so I started um

1054
00:39:21,900 –> 00:39:25,380
yeah like the tarot cards with myself

1055
00:39:23,339 –> 00:39:26,640
reading for friends reading for and some

1056
00:39:25,380 –> 00:39:27,720
of my friends knew that I did it when I

1057
00:39:26,640 –> 00:39:29,520
was young and were like oh yeah you’re

1058
00:39:27,720 –> 00:39:31,800
good at this and it just kind of clicked

1059
00:39:29,520 –> 00:39:33,240
so that it expanded into reading for

1060
00:39:31,800 –> 00:39:34,920
colleagues and they would buy me lunch

1061
00:39:33,240 –> 00:39:36,720
or dinner and I was like oh my gosh like

1062
00:39:34,920 –> 00:39:38,040
I had no money I was just building a

1063
00:39:36,720 –> 00:39:39,780
little bit so I would be so grateful for

1064
00:39:38,040 –> 00:39:42,119
that and people were offering to pay for

1065
00:39:39,780 –> 00:39:44,640
it and I didn’t intend for this to be my

1066
00:39:42,119 –> 00:39:46,500
full-time business but um yeah I grew it

1067
00:39:44,640 –> 00:39:49,560
into into that started doing events in

1068
00:39:46,500 –> 00:39:51,780
New York I had a brief stint as a dial a

1069
00:39:49,560 –> 00:39:53,940
psychic which like I auditioned for got

1070
00:39:51,780 –> 00:39:56,099
hired and then that that also had a

1071
00:39:53,940 –> 00:39:56,880
creepy creepy situation with so I quit

1072
00:39:56,099 –> 00:39:58,859
that

1073
00:39:56,880 –> 00:40:00,900
um so I had my own kind of Adventures in

1074
00:39:58,859 –> 00:40:02,960
the even the metaphysical and like like

1075
00:40:00,900 –> 00:40:07,140
kind of woo-woo Community

1076
00:40:02,960 –> 00:40:08,880
secretly a sex hotline so here’s the

1077
00:40:07,140 –> 00:40:10,859
thing oh my God I love how these stories

1078
00:40:08,880 –> 00:40:12,359
keep going here so here’s the thing

1079
00:40:10,859 –> 00:40:14,040
whatever it’s in my book as well it’s

1080
00:40:12,359 –> 00:40:16,740
like I literally am an open book I share

1081
00:40:14,040 –> 00:40:17,940
everything so um I get so a friend of

1082
00:40:16,740 –> 00:40:19,440
mine had said oh you should do that

1083
00:40:17,940 –> 00:40:21,300
you’re really good and then you can just

1084
00:40:19,440 –> 00:40:22,800
take the calls at any time because I

1085
00:40:21,300 –> 00:40:24,300
wasn’t like now I’m very well known as

1086
00:40:22,800 –> 00:40:25,859
like a celebrity tarot reader by the

1087
00:40:24,300 –> 00:40:27,480
time I wasn’t I was nobody right so

1088
00:40:25,859 –> 00:40:28,980
she’s like you can yeah she’s like you

1089
00:40:27,480 –> 00:40:30,900
can take these calls and like while you

1090
00:40:28,980 –> 00:40:34,079
need to like you know be doing dishes or

1091
00:40:30,900 –> 00:40:35,940
whatever at home and so I I you have to

1092
00:40:34,079 –> 00:40:37,859
audition you have to do two um blind

1093
00:40:35,940 –> 00:40:39,480
auditions with two separate people like

1094
00:40:37,859 –> 00:40:43,320
they were like yep the reading was great

1095
00:40:39,480 –> 00:40:45,900
we want to hire you 299 a minute so the

1096
00:40:43,320 –> 00:40:48,599
first call I get I get this guy Scorpio

1097
00:40:45,900 –> 00:40:50,940
something seven seven and he’s like um

1098
00:40:48,599 –> 00:40:53,640
yeah I just wanted to start out with um

1099
00:40:50,940 –> 00:40:55,140
and entered um an energetic release and

1100
00:40:53,640 –> 00:40:57,060
I thought this was like meditation talk

1101
00:40:55,140 –> 00:40:59,099
I’m like okay sure maybe this is

1102
00:40:57,060 –> 00:41:01,320
standard it’s my first call so then I’m

1103
00:40:59,099 –> 00:41:04,560
just like okay yeah I love how naive you

1104
00:41:01,320 –> 00:41:05,940
are literally I know like like so many

1105
00:41:04,560 –> 00:41:07,440
of my Straight girlfriends have been

1106
00:41:05,940 –> 00:41:09,780
like girl like I know you’re a lesbian

1107
00:41:07,440 –> 00:41:11,579
but like come on now um so I’m like cool

1108
00:41:09,780 –> 00:41:13,560
so I like close my eyes and do like you

1109
00:41:11,579 –> 00:41:15,180
know like meditation pose and when I

1110
00:41:13,560 –> 00:41:17,280
open my eyes he’s got his freaking pants

1111
00:41:15,180 –> 00:41:19,560
like unbuckled and I’m like and I just

1112
00:41:17,280 –> 00:41:22,020
like shut my laptop shut and like crawl

1113
00:41:19,560 –> 00:41:24,540
under the table my dog comes running and

1114
00:41:22,020 –> 00:41:26,040
so then I like creep it open he’s gone I

1115
00:41:24,540 –> 00:41:28,200
messaged the company that hired me

1116
00:41:26,040 –> 00:41:30,599
they’re like oh it happens sometimes and

1117
00:41:28,200 –> 00:41:32,280
I was like yeah no I’m good like I I

1118
00:41:30,599 –> 00:41:34,440
don’t I don’t need to do this so I

1119
00:41:32,280 –> 00:41:36,800
literally my one my one big paycheck

1120
00:41:34,440 –> 00:41:38,660
from that company was 2.99

1121
00:41:36,800 –> 00:41:41,460
yeah

1122
00:41:38,660 –> 00:41:42,300
I paid you at least at least I mean you

1123
00:41:41,460 –> 00:41:45,420
know what

1124
00:41:42,300 –> 00:41:47,280
I got paid for that one minute yeah you

1125
00:41:45,420 –> 00:41:49,440
did how do you how do you how do you

1126
00:41:47,280 –> 00:41:51,240
kind of explode like what happened

1127
00:41:49,440 –> 00:41:52,560
um I just I was yeah it was a lot of It

1128
00:41:51,240 –> 00:41:54,660
Word of Mouth I started my Instagram

1129
00:41:52,560 –> 00:41:56,520
account um and people were finding me

1130
00:41:54,660 –> 00:41:57,540
through there so then I

1131
00:41:56,520 –> 00:42:00,300
um started

1132
00:41:57,540 –> 00:42:02,400
um like the my Tarot deck I Illustrated

1133
00:42:00,300 –> 00:42:04,440
because like my I came from of course

1134
00:42:02,400 –> 00:42:06,060
you know like fashion so like my

1135
00:42:04,440 –> 00:42:07,560
pterodactyl the bottom one is Judge Judy

1136
00:42:06,060 –> 00:42:08,579
Queen of Swords because it’s like truth

1137
00:42:07,560 –> 00:42:11,099
bomb card

1138
00:42:08,579 –> 00:42:12,420
um so I illustrated my own Tarot deck

1139
00:42:11,099 –> 00:42:14,160
and I was like okay if nothing else I’ll

1140
00:42:12,420 –> 00:42:15,540
just use this on Instagram and like to

1141
00:42:14,160 –> 00:42:17,280
teach tarot because it’s kind of an

1142
00:42:15,540 –> 00:42:20,400
entry level deck of like pop culture

1143
00:42:17,280 –> 00:42:22,380
women of why this card means that and

1144
00:42:20,400 –> 00:42:23,760
um as a result of that there was a

1145
00:42:22,380 –> 00:42:25,740
publisher that reached out and was like

1146
00:42:23,760 –> 00:42:27,780
oh my gosh is your deck published and

1147
00:42:25,740 –> 00:42:29,339
then then I got um signed by Paradigm

1148
00:42:27,780 –> 00:42:30,480
Agency and then there was just like all

1149
00:42:29,339 –> 00:42:32,040
of these things kind of like the

1150
00:42:30,480 –> 00:42:34,079
universe showing me like you’re on the

1151
00:42:32,040 –> 00:42:36,420
right path and I was still kind of

1152
00:42:34,079 –> 00:42:38,040
writing to horses working for uh

1153
00:42:36,420 –> 00:42:39,359
freelancing with that company in the

1154
00:42:38,040 –> 00:42:41,820
fashion industry and just scaling my

1155
00:42:39,359 –> 00:42:43,619
days back like I had been five days than

1156
00:42:41,820 –> 00:42:46,920
four and then and three and was like

1157
00:42:43,619 –> 00:42:48,420
okay I need to make make this leap and I

1158
00:42:46,920 –> 00:42:51,480
really built the the core of my business

1159
00:42:48,420 –> 00:42:53,820
solo like just doing this from 2019 to

1160
00:42:51,480 –> 00:42:55,320
current and it’s been amazing and I’m so

1161
00:42:53,820 –> 00:42:56,700
grateful and like every day it sounds so

1162
00:42:55,320 –> 00:42:59,220
cheesy but I can’t believe that like I

1163
00:42:56,700 –> 00:43:00,720
get to do this for a living and like I

1164
00:42:59,220 –> 00:43:02,760
get to have a really beautiful Abundant

1165
00:43:00,720 –> 00:43:04,859
Life but I think it was just like keep

1166
00:43:02,760 –> 00:43:07,140
keeping to follow what I loved and that

1167
00:43:04,859 –> 00:43:09,300
I really do love helping people and I

1168
00:43:07,140 –> 00:43:11,099
feel like you as like like a really

1169
00:43:09,300 –> 00:43:12,960
powerful leader and like you know

1170
00:43:11,099 –> 00:43:14,339
managing a team Gina you probably have

1171
00:43:12,960 –> 00:43:15,839
this too like yes you’re really good at

1172
00:43:14,339 –> 00:43:17,040
what you do but it seems like so much of

1173
00:43:15,839 –> 00:43:19,859
what you do even in starting this

1174
00:43:17,040 –> 00:43:22,020
podcast is to inspire others and to kind

1175
00:43:19,859 –> 00:43:23,460
of like have that point of healing and

1176
00:43:22,020 –> 00:43:24,839
connectivity and that was always the

1177
00:43:23,460 –> 00:43:26,880
piece of it for me that I loved in

1178
00:43:24,839 –> 00:43:28,560
fashion so like stepping into this and

1179
00:43:26,880 –> 00:43:29,940
being able to just do what I love and

1180
00:43:28,560 –> 00:43:32,160
connect with people I was like holy [ __ ]

1181
00:43:29,940 –> 00:43:33,839
I can get paid to do this and so that’s

1182
00:43:32,160 –> 00:43:36,300
been the case I’ve been on my own since

1183
00:43:33,839 –> 00:43:38,280
then and it’s um then I got approached

1184
00:43:36,300 –> 00:43:40,619
to write a book and then my book

1185
00:43:38,280 –> 00:43:43,140
um uh got I finished it last year it

1186
00:43:40,619 –> 00:43:44,579
came out in December and that’s that’s

1187
00:43:43,140 –> 00:43:47,280
where I’m at now and now I’m on the book

1188
00:43:44,579 –> 00:43:50,160
tour still doing one-on-one readings I’m

1189
00:43:47,280 –> 00:43:52,800
still offering I’m actually doing like a

1190
00:43:50,160 –> 00:43:55,560
class in the summer that’s called Matrix

1191
00:43:52,800 –> 00:43:56,940
magic Academy for people that are in

1192
00:43:55,560 –> 00:43:58,560
corporate that want some of those like

1193
00:43:56,940 –> 00:44:00,720
magic codes whether they’re like looking

1194
00:43:58,560 –> 00:44:03,540
to switch to like a higher like kind of

1195
00:44:00,720 –> 00:44:05,819
like better environment company or a

1196
00:44:03,540 –> 00:44:07,619
better kind of like cultural fit or if

1197
00:44:05,819 –> 00:44:09,540
they’re looking to exit go on their own

1198
00:44:07,619 –> 00:44:11,520
of just some of the like human like

1199
00:44:09,540 –> 00:44:13,680
things that I utilized as well as some

1200
00:44:11,520 –> 00:44:15,780
of the magical and like healing tools as

1201
00:44:13,680 –> 00:44:17,460
well yeah well that’s what I loved as

1202
00:44:15,780 –> 00:44:19,380
soon as I found you guys I was like this

1203
00:44:17,460 –> 00:44:21,000
is amazing I love what you’re doing and

1204
00:44:19,380 –> 00:44:22,680
I love that like again that you’re just

1205
00:44:21,000 –> 00:44:24,540
like talking about this stuff that has

1206
00:44:22,680 –> 00:44:26,520
been something that was so taboo to even

1207
00:44:24,540 –> 00:44:29,339
addressed that like hey this isn’t okay

1208
00:44:26,520 –> 00:44:31,740
in these in these environments you know

1209
00:44:29,339 –> 00:44:33,420
well I think like especially art and I

1210
00:44:31,740 –> 00:44:36,060
talk about this a lot our generation was

1211
00:44:33,420 –> 00:44:39,780
conditioned to just kind of yes go along

1212
00:44:36,060 –> 00:44:42,720
with it because I’m 43 you’re probably

1213
00:44:39,780 –> 00:44:46,140
close in age yeah I’m 40. yeah I’m 40.

1214
00:44:42,720 –> 00:44:49,740
yeah so I just feel like it’s part of

1215
00:44:46,140 –> 00:44:52,200
our generation like that yeah suck it up

1216
00:44:49,740 –> 00:44:53,940
show up get your paycheck get those

1217
00:44:52,200 –> 00:44:56,099
benefits because like I had old school

1218
00:44:53,940 –> 00:44:57,599
parents too and they were like my dad

1219
00:44:56,099 –> 00:45:00,660
worked for the same company for his

1220
00:44:57,599 –> 00:45:02,579
entire career yeah there was like there

1221
00:45:00,660 –> 00:45:05,220
wasn’t any of that like okay this isn’t

1222
00:45:02,579 –> 00:45:06,839
the right fit or I’m now at a point

1223
00:45:05,220 –> 00:45:09,300
where I need to grow like it was just

1224
00:45:06,839 –> 00:45:12,300
like you stay and you just like work

1225
00:45:09,300 –> 00:45:13,220
your way up little by little by little

1226
00:45:12,300 –> 00:45:14,880
um yeah

1227
00:45:13,220 –> 00:45:17,900
wow

1228
00:45:14,880 –> 00:45:21,119
awesome I like that

1229
00:45:17,900 –> 00:45:23,760
where can we find all of your fun things

1230
00:45:21,119 –> 00:45:27,599
where can we buy them where can we find

1231
00:45:23,760 –> 00:45:29,040
you I want yeah tarot card deck just

1232
00:45:27,599 –> 00:45:30,420
because they’re so cute not because I

1233
00:45:29,040 –> 00:45:32,780
know how to use them and I want to like

1234
00:45:30,420 –> 00:45:35,160
frame them

1235
00:45:32,780 –> 00:45:36,660
I love that it’s a good yeah it’s a good

1236
00:45:35,160 –> 00:45:39,900
learning deck so the badass which is

1237
00:45:36,660 –> 00:45:42,839
tarot and my book the Saturn Diaries

1238
00:45:39,900 –> 00:45:45,119
it’s all on um at cards EB on Instagram

1239
00:45:42,839 –> 00:45:46,400
I’m on an Instagram and Tick Tock at

1240
00:45:45,119 –> 00:45:48,420
cards EB

1241
00:45:46,400 –> 00:45:50,700
c-a-r-d-s-y-b and then my website’s just

1242
00:45:48,420 –> 00:45:53,099
cardzb.com so it’s pretty pretty easy to

1243
00:45:50,700 –> 00:45:54,960
find me pretty straightforward okay wait

1244
00:45:53,099 –> 00:45:58,079
we gotta edit this out what’s your cell

1245
00:45:54,960 –> 00:46:00,260
phone number don’t edit that out no I’m

1246
00:45:58,079 –> 00:46:00,260
just

1247
00:46:01,200 –> 00:46:06,540
and let’s give it to anybody who’s

1248
00:46:03,660 –> 00:46:08,040
weirdly if you subscribe like and follow

1249
00:46:06,540 –> 00:46:10,700
to the podcast we’ll give you the

1250
00:46:08,040 –> 00:46:10,700
telephone number

1251
00:46:11,099 –> 00:46:15,720
we would never

1252
00:46:13,040 –> 00:46:17,640
although like I’m like I’m pretty easy

1253
00:46:15,720 –> 00:46:21,359
to find online like so I’m sure people

1254
00:46:17,640 –> 00:46:23,160
could find my number fairly easy but I

1255
00:46:21,359 –> 00:46:24,900
know I constantly like remove like

1256
00:46:23,160 –> 00:46:26,220
unsubscribe from things with mine but

1257
00:46:24,900 –> 00:46:28,079
I’m sure like if people really freaking

1258
00:46:26,220 –> 00:46:29,160
try they can’t but yeah I just don’t

1259
00:46:28,079 –> 00:46:33,540
want to make it I don’t want to make it

1260
00:46:29,160 –> 00:46:36,180
any easier for the energy yeah

1261
00:46:33,540 –> 00:46:38,700
it was but I don’t want to take any more

1262
00:46:36,180 –> 00:46:40,260
I know we’ve sucked up all of you now I

1263
00:46:38,700 –> 00:46:42,359
love you guys I do have a call like

1264
00:46:40,260 –> 00:46:44,339
coming up at two so but uh but it’s it’s

1265
00:46:42,359 –> 00:46:46,500
a pleasure to talk to you both so thank

1266
00:46:44,339 –> 00:46:49,980
you so much no this has been totally

1267
00:46:46,500 –> 00:46:51,660
amazing and the last book tour and I’m

1268
00:46:49,980 –> 00:46:53,880
gonna text you in the next couple weeks

1269
00:46:51,660 –> 00:46:56,160
and we’ll figure something out okay now

1270
00:46:53,880 –> 00:46:59,280
we can do a pre-game chat that was fun

1271
00:46:56,160 –> 00:47:00,839
she was fun that was fun she and I I

1272
00:46:59,280 –> 00:47:01,619
feel like you’ve got like a fun new

1273
00:47:00,839 –> 00:47:05,660
friend

1274
00:47:01,619 –> 00:47:08,460
I I hope so I hope she follows through

1275
00:47:05,660 –> 00:47:10,140
thank you for joining us today if you

1276
00:47:08,460 –> 00:47:12,780
would like to share your story we would

1277
00:47:10,140 –> 00:47:14,520
love to hear from you also leaving a

1278
00:47:12,780 –> 00:47:16,140
review helps us create more content

1279
00:47:14,520 –> 00:47:18,480
because it shows us there’s an interest

1280
00:47:16,140 –> 00:47:19,980
in this topic for those of our listeners

1281
00:47:18,480 –> 00:47:22,380
who do better with reading we have

1282
00:47:19,980 –> 00:47:24,420
closed caption available on YouTube see

1283
00:47:22,380 –> 00:47:26,599
you next week same time in the same

1284
00:47:24,420 –> 00:47:26,599
place